#and I myself am not very experienced with religion

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

dear sex witch,

i'm really sorry if this question is inappropriate and too long, please delete if necessary. i am a 17-year-old cis girl who grew up in a sexually conservative culture/religion but stumbled into extremely taboo nsfw fanfiction (and later nsfw fanart once or twice) really young (probably about 12) without even registering that what i was doing was masterbation/looking at porn. i no longer think those things are objectively bad or sinful as i was taught when i was younger, and i consider myself probably more sex-positive than a lot of my peers irl, but i feel a lot of shame about specific things that i've read and i still consider immoral although obviously none of the content i consumed involved real people doing sexual acts, and i started experiencing a lot of taboo and guilt-inducing intrusive thoughts two years ago.

if it's possible would you be able to give some advice about how to move forward? i've avoided pornographic material for more than a year but i don't actually know if that's healthy or helpful. the shame around previous porn use and the intrusive thoughts have also led me to become very afraid to disclose my sexual orientation (i realised i was a lesbian last year) because i'm worried i'll be bad representation and that if people realise what my past experiences were it would reinforce their homophobic beliefs about homosexuality being perverse.

again i apologise if this isn't the sort of thing you are able or willing to deal with at all, or if i sound too reactionary regarding sex and kink: i have been trying to educate myself but i obviously still have a long way to go. thank you for the work that you do and i hope you have a wonderful day.

hi anon,

okay, so, first thing I need to say, right out of the gate: it's not possible for you to be "bad representation." you're not representation. you're a real human person who, like every other human, will make mistakes and have regrets and sometimes do things that you're not very proud of. the burden of ending bigotry is not on queer people; don't have to be upstanding paragons of morality in the hopes that people will stop being meaners to us. if someone is homophobic, that's not something that you can change personally by being the most perfect lesbian in the world. they're still going to be homophobic unless they personally decide not to be, a choice that you can't force anyone to make. please, p l e a s e do not put that kind of pressure on yourself.

also: you actually don't have to disclose your sexual orientation to anyone whose reaction you're worried about. if someone is a homophobe, they don't need to know that you're homo! I know a lot of importance is placed on the idea of being out in every aspect of your life, but that is fucking DANGEROUS for a lot of people - especially young people who are dependent on families that won't support them. being out to your family is never, never, NEVER more important than you being safe; don't get it twisted.

re: avoiding porn, it's none of my business if you want to look at or read or listen to porn. I do know in many cases that learning how to just look at a thing as it is, without judging yourself for doing so, is the most effective way to stop feeling so scared and worried about it. I have no idea how much you pay attention to my blog, but I've had numerous people telling me that watching me joke so much about an incestuous relationship about two brothers in a bad Marvel movie has helped reduce the anxiety they feel about fictional incest. if you feel able to do so, it might be really good for you to experience enjoying some porn and masturbating about it without anything bad happening.

it doesn't even have to be watching porn; any kind of content centered around sex in a positive manner can really help to make it feel more natural and less scary. I always recommend the channel Sexplanations on YouTube, which is quite frank about bodies and pleasure while also being lighthearted and education, and I think you in particular might really benefit from the podcast Sexvangelicals, which is hosted by two sex therapists who do a lot of work specifically targeted at helping individuals who come from high control religious groups unlearn shame about sex.

[beigetiger]

Cannot stop thinking about how Skulduggery has sort of peaked in his abilities. He’s four hundred, the Death Bringer, and one of the most powerful Elementals ever. That’s quite a lot to his name.

I’m also thinking of how Valkyrie is just getting started. She’s BABY to the other sorcerers, and yet she’s already practically on his level. I’m obsessed with the idea that she’ll just…keep going. Godhood is inevitable for her, she’ll just keep losing more and more of her humanity until she’s no longer even a sorcerer. She’ll outgrow the world some day. And Skulduggery will love her anyway.

There’s a lot to be said about the religious aspect of this series and I find it all extremely fascinating, both how the sorcerers view religion and how it’s wrapped up with the characters and their arcs. Valkyrie already has a religion dedicated to one of her aspects and Skulduggery is kind of the Death Bringer, and yet neither of them view each other in an explicitly religious way (although there could be an argument made for them worshiping each other in less of a generally religious and more of a mutual adoration sense).

Not much analysis going on here, I’m just thinking about them. Might write more on this later when I’m slightly more coherent and have fewer other things to do.

[luckthebard]

I think a huge problem I’m seeing in some attempts at meta with C3 is that there is a subset of viewers who do not understand the place, value, and meaning of real world religion. It breeds takes like “well throw the gods out! Who needs them! They caused characters and the world pain! Free Vax from the Raven Queen!”

I throw that last one in there because it is the most ridiculous yet frequent and is really the crux of the issue. Vax’s story is very much about faith and the importance of faith and devotion. If you place no value on that you’ll end up grossly misunderstanding the character and the nature of his tragedy.

I’m going to out myself as an atheist, but I think the issue with a lot of these takes are that they come from internet atheists who are either resentful of and hostile toward religion because of personal experiences or do not know any devout people in their lives who they respect and can empathize with. And while I am not trying to downplay the very real phenomenon of religious trauma, when healing from it it is crucial to realize that all spiritual traditions are not synonymous with the one that harmed you. I would really implore more people to explore why many good people find spiritual traditions and religion to be a source of solace, community, and meaning before writing off the idea wholesale as something only functioning as a means of power and control that people can be educated out of believing. I encourage you to branch out and here are some examples of things I’ve done to challenge my own judgement over the last ten years: read the writings of gay Catholics exploring the queerness of Jesus. Read some beautiful poetry written by a trans man who specializes in Anglican theology. Explore religious observances different from the ones you experienced and attend a Seder. Go if a coworker invites you to a celebration of Ganesh. Learn the significance of solstice celebrations because your coworker is officiating one for a Wiccan event. Break fast at sundown during Ramadan with in solidarity with your roommate.

Deciding that all fictional religion must be an allegory for a specific kind of toxic nationalistic prosperity gospel Christian cult found in America will only limit how you engage with both fiction and the real world. It took me a long time to get to this place about it and I hope I’ve put the spark of curiosity and not judgment into at least one person reading this.

[ariesprincesss]

Super Random Astro Observations Pt. IV

as always, i am not an astrologer just a silly girl that knows a ton about astrology🤓

View more observations in this series here:

Super Random Astro Observations

Super Random Astro Observations Pt. II

Super Random Astro Observations Pt. III

‧₊˚🌈 sun conjuct pluto synastry first meeting was so insane!!

‧₊˚🌈 upon reading into these aspects everything makes sense with my last situation… i also had mercury conjuct pluto with him and as pluto there was a huge obsession over him and intrigue the instant i met him & he def had secrets and a hard time opening up i could tell that he kept cards close to his chest.

‧₊˚🌈 as a gemini venus & mars and the only coworkers ive made instant friends with being geminis is so crazy to me😭 i swear, they love to chat with me & i love it with them !!

‧₊˚🌈 back to the gemini energy, i can ALWAYS feel when someone has gemini placements like omg. every gemini sun ive gotten close with makes a point of like talking about everything ever , asking questions they probably shouldn’t ask, & just being overactive in that way😭 i will say that i feel like gemini in sun sign is kind of weak just in the sense that other placements can reallyyyy mellow their sun out.

‧₊˚🌈 2nd house venus in lunar return chart i spent money with absolutely no care lol. it was also in a taurus degree & i spent it solely on beauty products & clothes LOL

‧₊˚🌈 as an 8th houser (mercury especially) i have like a super big thing with being inconspicuous & using indirect language in conversation with ppl im just getting to know whenever they ask me questions, because i just don’t feel like they should know things ab me😭

‧₊˚🌈 so im like 2/3 months away from my solar return and am seeing it show up in real time… 6h stellium in my natal 7th is making me focus on work relationships & i don’t usually make friends w coworkers and ive already made 2 friends , one coworker i just met yesterday and another that i met like two months ago lol

‧₊˚🌈 after experiencing 8h synastry it rlly felt like the year was almost separated from before i met him and then after because of how different life felt for me afterwards

‧₊˚🌈 I noticed SO many 9h northnode celebrities having very similar life structures. Affluent or well off religious parent(s), moving homes often when young or in adulthood, having teachers or being guided by someone, studied their future profession in school/college, and lastly a lesser commonality i noticed was adopting a different religion at some stage in their life. i think above all with this placement leaving your birth town/ your place of residence could be important in your life story. (Ex: Donna Summer moving to Europe to preform in the musical ‘Hair’ which jumpstarted her career!)

‧₊˚🌈 also random but i noticed that a lot of virgo rising celebrities with 9h northnode were the youngest of 3 siblings & i am too so i thought that was super interesting lol or being one of 3 siblings, being the 3rd child birthed could be significant

‧₊˚🌈 leo mars musicians and being effortlessly good at playing instruments/having the ability to create their own special way of doing something /putting their own spin on something in their music… ex: Jeff Beck, Paul McCartney

‧₊˚🌈 so i always reference a life changing event in these that altered everything about my existence but i never reference what my solar return showed for that year. i had a 12th house stellium (sun,jupiter,neptune,chiron) and mercury, northnode, and uranus in my first house. it literally reads like a hidden part of myself is finally let out and expands, and it was almost like “ fate” for me to change mentally and physically that year. i also had pluto 10h and this feels like it manifested in a public change, or a change in public image and i literally had customers at my job going “you look different everytime i see you” 🫢, my natal sun sign was on the ascendant too and that year i started to come more into myself or i guess i became more like myself if that makes sense!(astrology is scary & almost so overt at times , it’s funny)

‧₊˚🌈 a year when i was overly promiscuous i had 8h moon & vertex in my solar return…

‧₊˚🌈 the month i got covid last year in my lunar return i had neptune & saturn retrograding in 6th house ,neptune square my midheaven & i was out of work for weeks lol

‧₊˚🌈 this one is less of an observation more of a question for the culture😭 has anyone else seen how lunar returns, solar returns, transits ,etc. kind of like hint that something or someone important is coming towards you? i think that is SO interesting because the month i met my ex online ,i had 7h vertex, chiron, & northnode but i remember at the time not considering him until the day before my lunar return chart switched to the next month when he made a big impression on me & asked to take me out and in that lunar return chart i had 7h juno & then 7h vertex again!

‧₊˚🌈 3 months before i met my ex, my ascendant progressed into libra in my progressed chart🫢

‧₊˚🌈 some transits i had for meeting him in person were transit south node trine venus and transit venus sextile northnode! i 1000% consider him as one of my first big karmic partners. you guys can read more about this meetings transits here !

‧₊˚🌈 I’ve recently been introduced to solar arc progressions which is a form of predictive astrology and found out i’m supposed to have a fated meeting with someone february 10th🫢 solar arcs only work to predict something like this if you have confirmation from 3 different chart sources tho!!! For me My Solar Return, Lunar Return, and transits confirm this meeting.

———————————————————————————

Thank you so much for reading! Comment what other Astrology content I should make bc i have no idea lol. I hope you guys enjoyed these observations ♡

[lilangeldeath]

Manifestation tip #1

"if I can pause you, I can turn you off" - using your commanding power to harness your anger/frustration and start kicking Wavering in the face until it runs away crying

A little storytime. Once I was in the middle of a task i needed to finish before bed, and was trying to hurry it along because I was tired. I began having deep wavering feelings and felt like my entire manifestation was falling off the rails even though the entire day i had been experiencing lots of movement. I, with my inner voice, got frustrated and for some reason the first thing that popped up in my head was imagining the Wavering as it's own character, i'm sure you can tell what that sounds like. it's all very interesting to me, the links between so many religions, always has been.

Anyhow, if it's helpful, give your wavering a name or a "character"/persona, hopefully one you're not fond of. or if that's too extra for you, just try imagining those thoughts in the voice of someone you think is a giant, annoying asshole. it immediately makes you go "wait a damn minute, shut the fuck up!!"

the other thing that popped up in my head when i imagined the Wavering as a sort of asshole character was saying "wait! hold on! let me finish this first. pause. time out. if you're gonna test me, at least test me on a level playing field when i'm not in the middle of something." yes, i am an extreme yapper, even in my own thoughts lmao. and then right after that thought was over, i realized how silly it was.

i said inwardly "if i can pause you, i can turn you off. i can get rid of you." and called my power back to myself. it feels good to laugh at yourself now and then and i think that's really important during all of this. yes, you should want to take your creations seriously and not be lazy and expect good results, but taking them seriously in my opinion also has to have its silly moments. it's just the way life is, really. forrest gump, box of chocolates, you know the deal. sometimes even when you're manifesting really serious stuff, you have to be able to laugh at yourself.

you really can turn the wavering off whenever you feel like it, if you allow yourself to feel the strength and the power of commanding. don't be afraid to command the universe, your subconscious, whatever you want to think it comes from. not in an evil way like "oh i get to control everybody" but in a way that you refuse to let anyone, or anything, including your own ingrained negative beliefs, take your power away from you, the real you, the 4D you/soul

our bodies are just mech suits we use as the creator observing and experiencing itself, experiencing a new method of creation. if you feel drawn to do it, take your wavering by the horns and tell it to shut the fuck up. if it helps, beat the shit out of it mentally. not beating yourself up, that just compounds it. not like "oh i had a negative thought, i'm so bad at this". like "i command all negative thought patterns to leave my subconscious forever. i am a creator/manifester and i am so grateful to wield such power." things like that.

if you work on your self concept (in whatever way that feels best to you) enough that you really feel that power, that fire inside, you will really start locking in. you have to ASSUME the ROLE of being in charge around here (your reality). i'm the type of person that my anger management issues in the past used to make me isolate and be bitter towards others or lash out at them to push them away. now i funnel my anger into a sword that i use to cut off quantum timelines i do not wish to experience. that's how i personally see it.

[lunamoonbby]

Cult!141 x Fem!Reader

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT MDNI

⚠️Warnings⚠️: Dark Content, Manipulation, allusions to past abuse very brief not in depth, female reader, swearing, pregnancy, birth, poly relationships, smut, Cult AU, the use of lord in terms to worship, Price being referred to as Father

If you or a loved one is experiencing abuse, know that there is help, and please help anyone that you know to help them escape from that abuse.

⭐️Author's Note: The religion that the villagers follow is not defined, but it is NOT associated with Christianity, Judaism, Islam, or any other type of religion there is⭐️

CHAPTER 2: Meeting New People

"Well, well, well, who do you have there, Father Price?" The sound came from a man who had bright blue eyes and was sporting a mowhawk and a scottish accent. Price gesturing towards y/n, "This is y/n, and I expect every single one of you to welcome her with open arms, or else our lord will be upset." "Yes, Father Price." the crowd said in unison. "How can I help you? I'm Johnny, by the way. Sorry about my bad manners, and this is Kyle." Kyle was a beautiful man with chocolate glowy skin, his eyes a beautiful shade of brown. Before y/n could answer, Price intervened,"I would like to buy a meal for myself and for y/n and give her a warm drink too." Johnny looked at y/n, "what would you like to eat and drink?". "I'll have the stew and a herbal tea, please?" y/n stated looking at johnny. "Comming right up!" johnny exclaimed, walking to the kitchen with kyle following. You were looking around the tavern, and you noticed that the people were still staring at you, it made you uncomfortable, you were worried that one of them of snitch and give your location to your ex-boyfriend, oh how you hope not.

     Price who notices your jittery state, "My child, what seems to be the matter?" Startled, y/n looks at Price."It's nothing. I'm just being paranoid." Y/n stated, not wanting to worry, Father Price. "It's not nothing if you're shaking like a leaf. Are you feeling cold, my child?" Y/n was feeling cold but she wasn't jittery because of that she decided to tell Price the truth, "although I am feeling cold, it's actually because I'm scared, all of these people are looking at me and I'm afraid that one of them must of alerted my ex-boyfriend and that he'll drag me back to his house and there he would punish me for escaping, Father Price." Price frowns at that and he turns around and looks at the patrons in a way that it made them stop staring at y/n, he truns back around and faces y/n, he places his plam gently on her cheek. "My child it's completely normal to feel that way, but you're safe here no one knows about this place, no one is supposed to find it, but somehow you did and it was our great lord who sent you to me, and remember that offering you gave, he'll make sure that you remain safe here in this village. So please stay in this village don't leave." Price removes his hand from her face. Smiling y/n felt alot better maybe it was for the best that she gave her $100 as an offering, she did find a village that was very secluded maybe she was brought here for a reason.

     "Thank you, Father Price, for welcoming me to this village and paying for my meal, I'm eternally grateful." y/n stated greatfully. "You're welcome, my child." Price stated while he gently patted her head. She was greatful for everything Father Price has done for her, but one question remains how will I pay him back, maybe, I could pay him back by being generous to other people, but the local villagers seem skeptical about me, I mean I am an outsider to them, y/n deep in her thought didn't notice Kyle and Johnny walking out with Price's food and y/n food and drink. "Here you go, bonnie lass, one steaming plate of stew." Johnny places the bowl in front of her, "and here is your herbal tea." Kyle states, placing a tea cup on in front of her. Y/n smells the food and takes a bite of the stew and a sip of her tea "mmm this taste amazing thank you so much" y/n happily eating her stew and drinking her tea.

     John looks at Johnny and Kyle, "y/n remember that story I told you about, the one with my two friends who only had $50 combined to their names?" Y/n looks at Father Price, "yes I remember that story, Father Price." Price smiles at y/n, "great cause Johnny and Kyle are the two friends I talked about. Why don't you tell y/n the story, Kyle? Y/n I'll be right back. I have to get something I won't take long. Johnny, Kyle I trust you both to keep y/n safe" Johnny and Kyle looked at each other and then at John knowing full well that what John said about the $50 story is a lie. Kyle smiled, "Of course, Father Price, myself, and Johnny would keep her safe until you return." Kyle answered and then told the story of how both himself and johnny met Jonathan Price, "Johnny and I were the best of friends growing up, we had nothing to our name except for $50 when combined with the money I had and with what Johnny had. We were traveling for a while and we happened to stumbled across this village, and it was at the church on top of hill where we met Father Price, we prayed for good fortune and success and we were told to make an offering so we made our offering of $50 to our lord, we became devoted follwers and after a couple of months we oppend our very own tavern." Y/n looked amazed and hopeful after hearing the story. "We heard you made an offering. How much did you put?" Kyle asked. Y/n looked at Kyle, "Oh, I put $100 in the offering bowl."

Taglist is open comment if you would like to be added

@yourloverslost @tabbslouuformer @angelrissa @freefallingup13 @readingcatinacorner @sylvanasthebansheequeen @casualunknownrunaway @thatpersonnamedrook @rip-cod-brainrot

I hope you enjoyed it💖

[moonlitshifter]

I Believe in Shifting - But Now I’m Questioning My Entire Worldview

Dear shifters,

I am coming here today because I would like to ask you some questions about shifting that come from my desire to deepen my understanding of it, and because of my great curiosity about the topic.

I’d be grateful to anyone willing to share their opinion with me. 🙏🏼

I’ve been reading a lot about shifting, but I would like to expand my knowledge. Since reality shifting has not yet been scientifically examined, I can rely mostly on your experiences and thoughts about it.

Though I do believe reality shifting is 100% true and real, and I think it makes sense when I confront it with what I have learned so far about this human experience on Earth, there are still so many unknowns about the whole phenomenon itself.

Let me share a piece of my personal story and beliefs. I think this will be crucial in the context of my questions because there are people who might have a completely different view of life and what it means to be human in general. What I find hard to understand might be simple and obvious to you. I really want to hear opinions from people with different worldviews because that might help me review my own beliefs and maybe find understanding somewhere outside my current perspective.

Many years ago, I experienced what is broadly called a "spiritual awakening." From that moment on, my whole worldview was put to the test, and some of you who have experienced it know how it goes. Month after month, year after year, you start to understand more about something that sometimes feels impossible to grasp. It becomes obvious that life on Earth is just a temporary journey. Though one day you die, the journey continues, as your spirit - the true essence of who you really are - does not.

I believe in reincarnation. I believe in the existence of divine consciousness. I believe we come to Earth to learn about our true nature, and that this is our goal here. About this last belief, however, I am starting to question myself. Reality shifting is seriously challenging my belief system, and I’m beginning to wonder if things were never the way I thought they were.

Let me explain. One of the biggest things I have believed for the last six years is that humans are born on Earth without knowledge of their divine origin. Everything revolves around us discovering the truth of being a part of God, the source of unconditional love, and that is basically the point of it all. Though we are divine beings, we experience life through the mind, which by its nature is flawed and limited and prevents us from seeing The Truth. Life experiences are triggers for change, to help us finally see. They are lessons we take on the path we all walk back home, which is God himself/herself/themselves (I really don’t know what pronouns to use here, as God is not a person). This way of seeing things helps me make sense of life itself.

Because, as you know, life on Earth is intense - full of pain and suffering, sometimes hard to comprehend. It is full of problems that seem to never end. Most of the people I know, and I am one of them, go through life exhausted. I’m not saying these people never experience joy or happiness, but compared to the challenges they face, those moments of happiness seem insignificant. And yes, that is supposed to be the art of living: to grow and change to release oneself from suffering.

So we have religions, practices, and tools to help transform our lives into something better. Change is possible and available to everyone. If we truly want to change something in our lives, we can achieve it. But oh man, that’s not so simple. From my personal experience, I’ve noticed huge changes since I started meditating, praying, and analyzing my psyche but sometimes I still feel like no real change has occurred at all. It’s very disheartening because you put a lot of hard work toward changing your life, and then realize your life hasn’t changed much in the last decade. You’re still dealing with the same problems.

Yes, life feels this way sometimes. For me, remembering that it all happens for a reason - that all these challenges, life lessons, emotional and mental processes happen for me - helps me see they are opportunities to notice what doesn’t work in my life so I can take steps toward changing it. Also, it's the only thing that helps me survive sometimes.

I want you to know that I have a pretty good life. It doesn’t suck entirely. Life is not 100% awful. It has never been, though it has kicked my ass way too many times. What I want to say is that life is all these things, the good and the bad. A range of many different experiences. I’ve thought about it, we have so many incredible things here on Earth: art, music, love, nature, animals, and so on. It’s hard to live a human life, but it’s not like we only suffer and there’s nothing good to reach for.

God damn it, where am I going with this? My apologies. I’m unfortunately one of those people who, once they start talking, easily go off-topic.

Let’s get to the point.

With all that I’ve said so far, here comes my biggest challenge in understanding exactly what reality shifting is.

It all made pretty good sense to me, the concepts of reincarnation and karma still do, in a way but I feel like shifting kind of contradicts them, or maybe it doesn’t. That’s why I’m here: because maybe there’s something I haven’t noticed yet. Something I don't understand yet.

From what I know about shifting, it seems there are no limits. You can shift your awareness to any version of yourself that basically exists, and these versions are limitless. There is a version of you who is Mother Teresa or Donald Trump. There is a version of you who is Mother Teresa living in the 16th century. There is a version of you who is Donald Trump, but a hippie fighting for human rights in the 60's. You get my point. You can shift to being anyone, anywhere, anytime in history. You can also shift to being someone who is not Homo sapiens and doesn’t have a human form. As you can see, no limits.

You can make yourself the partner of Kate Winslet or Legolas because there is a version of you that is already their partner. You get it.

So, let’s say I shift to a version of reality that is perfect. Of course, for everyone it means something different, but I’ll give you an example of my perfect world.

In my perfect reality:

There is no homelessness or hunger.

There are no crimes; people don’t kill others. There is no rape, no hatred, and no jealousy.

People respect nature and treat animals as equals. There is no exploitation of the Earth. There is no air pollution. Humanity doesn’t use crude oil or produce plastic, and if it does, it’s 100% biodegradable. People don’t litter. Rivers and oceans are clean and healthy.

People treat themselves with respect, help each other, and are kind and compassionate.

People respect diversity. They don’t judge anyone’s looks, lifestyle, or beliefs.

Everyone has equal access to knowledge.

Governments exist to serve their people. Nobody seeks power.

There are no wars. People live in peace.

People take care of their health, eat well, exercise, and respect their lives.

People live in communities and have a strong sense of service to others.

There are no addictions.

Women and men are equal. There’s no racial or any other form of discrimination.

Humanity treats children with absolute respect and care.

People cooperate with one another in every aspect of life.

Nobody lacks anything, but people don’t overly value material stuff.

…and so on.

The question is:

✿ Where is the struggle? Do we need any struggle in order to live? What would life in a reality like the one I described look like? Where is the challenge in all of this?

I’ll elaborate a bit because I realize it might sound silly to you, but given my personal beliefs described earlier, it doesn’t seem silly to me.

Does life have to be the way I believe it is? Or is this just the next illusion I’m meant to shed?

You see, if I choose to shift to a better reality, one that lacks all these huge problems present in my current reality, then why was I born into this reality? I believe in some sort of destiny. I believe everything happens for a reason.

You may say that if I believe that, then wouldn’t shifting also be part of it if I discovered it after all? If I shift to my perfect version of reality, wasn’t that meant to happen? Yes…but it’s not that simple.

So, maybe I’ll drop the next question here to help better explain what I don't understand about shifting:

✿ Hypothetically, let’s say I’m dying here in my current reality from a serious disease, but before I die, I shift to another reality. What happens when I die in the reality I shifted from? I stay in my new one, right? But what if in this new reality I decide to live a long life, and then on my deathbed, I shift again to another reality I scripted for myself before it happened and I repeat the whole “procedure���? Can I do this forever? It’s a little bit like reincarnation, but you stay aware of your previous lives?

You see, humans have this little thing we call ego. Ego is a mechanism driven by the need to survive (at any cost). Ego doesn’t allow us to see our true nature, to see who we really are. That’s the human experience. Without ego, we couldn’t call it the “human” experience. We would just be divine consciousness inhabiting a human body or we wouldn’t have this human form at all, because what would be the point?

One can surrender their ego while living on Earth. It is possible. It is called a state of nirvana, and it’s the last stage that ends the cycle of reincarnation. A person who achieves it realizes their true nature, which is God, and after death, doesn’t reincarnate. Simple, isn’t it? Not entirely, because you see…

If there are no limits to shifting and it allows me to shift to versions of myself with different personality traits, skills, and experiences, can I simply shift to a version of myself that has achieved nirvana? Wouldn’t that be a cheat sheet? Achieving nirvana takes a lot of dedication and persistence. Supposedly, it’s the last stage of human experience for everyone, but it takes many lives to get there. (Well, I wonder if perhaps no one would actually decide to do this because of the ego. If we could simply decide to get rid of it at will, then all of us would be enlightened already. But hypothetically, it’s possible, right?)

The same applies to shifting to a reality where you don’t have the personality traits that cause you struggle in your current reality. For example, if you are shy in your CR, you could shift to a reality where you are confident. If you have trouble focusing or organizing yourself, you could shift to a reality where you don’t have those problems. Wouldn’t this be another kind of shortcut? Wouldn’t it rob you of something significant?

And yet, what if I scripted myself to be an expert in 20 subjects, to know 90 languages, play 30 musical instruments, and be good at 15 sports? I’m probably exaggerating here, but hypothetically, I could do it. If I shift to a reality where I can play the piano at a master level, even though I can’t play it at all in my CR, then it means I’ve shifted to a reality where I already learned to play the piano. That’s why I know how to play it, I had to learn it somewhere, right? Because otherwise, how else would I know how to play?

You might say there are realities where learning isn’t the only way to acquire a skill. But what if I didn’t script it that way, and I still scripted that I have 200 different skills I’m an expert in?

I’m not sure if I’m making sense here, but if you do understand what I’m trying to say, congrats because this train of thought probably derailed a long time ago. XD

You see, all of this makes me question what I believe life is really about. It’s not just about realizing that shifting has no limits, I already understand that. But the implications are so much more complex than I expected. It makes me wonder: what is the purpose of us being here? What is the purpose of life?

Maybe there is no purpose. Maybe the purpose is to let go of the need to find purpose in everything. Who knows? Well, not me :p

This post is very long already, so perhaps I will stop here. I know you probably don’t have answers to my questions (as reality shifting is still such an unexplored area), but I would be very grateful if you decided to share your views on the matter with me <3

If you’d like to share your thoughts, feel free to leave a comment or, if you’d prefer to discuss it in a private message, you’re more than welcome to do so.

xx

[sluggsbugg]

ੈ✩‧₊˚ PANTHEISM ☽｡⋆

and how it it has impacted my shifting journey, and could possibly impact yours…

there are many definitions of pantheism, and many ways to look at it, but today i’m going to explain it to you (or try to lol) as i see it and try to show you how a pantheistic mindset can aid you in your shifting journey.

pantheism is described as the philosophical and spiritual belief that reality, the universe and nature are identical to or are a supreme deity. like many pantheists, i like to refer to this supreme deity, or the universe, as “the one”.

another definition of pantheism is the worship of all gods and every religion, though this could more accurately be called omnism (which also a very interesting philosophy but that’s for another time).

most pantheism beliefs do not recognize a distinct single god or deity, but instead characterizes a broad range of doctrines differing in forms of relationship between reality and divinity.

pantheism and pantheistic concepts date back thousands of years… in fact, early forms of taoism are considered to adhere to this belief. there was even a school of hindu philosophy that is thought to be similar. cheondoism, which arose during the korean joseon dynasty, and won buddhism are also considered to be pantheistic.

but how does this apply to shifting?

well, let me tell you how.

if, by pantheistic standards, the universe, reality and nature are all one single entity, then that means that we are apart of it. we are apart of “the one”, in fact we are it.

we are the universe experiencing itself.

there is no need to sit in your room or on the bus or at work thinking about “how you hope the universe will let you shift”… because YOU are the universe.

i know people in the shifting community say it a lot. over and over again you hear the advice that you are the only thing getting in your way, that you just need to see that it’s all in your hands, but it’s true. it can be annoying to hear it constantly, but i promise it’s the best bit of advice you’ll ever get.

when your doing your methods or your meditations, say to yourself, “i am the universe and i am letting myself shift”. or say something like “i am the universe and the universe is me”. really, any variation of these statements will work.

it even works for manifestation and the law of attraction.

i have gotten the best results during shifting attempts when i remind myself of these things, and the first time i started using these affirmations i even minishifted.

and don’t worry, even if you’re a christian or pagan or whatever shifter you can still adhere to these beliefs. within pantheism, these other deities exist as extensions of the universe just like you or i. they exist because we believe in them, just like we believe that the sky is blue and the ocean is salty (if that makes sense).

we make our reality and our truths, we do it everyday. easy as pie.

anyways… just a little thing i had on my mind that i thought might help somebody out there. please feel free to research pantheism more on your own, or to ask me questions in dms, comments or asks, im happy to answer.

happy shifting, and have good day/night!!

[kaysfanficcorner]

Out of this World Chapter 13: You Remind Me of the Babe

Pairing: Din Djarin x Female Earthling Reader/OC

Summary: The Mandalorian and the Earthling take the child to the forest planet of Corvus in search of Bo-Katan's Jedi ally.

Author's Note: Holy moly. This chapter was a DOOZY. It took me over a month but this thing finally made itself clear to me. When I tell you, dear reader, that there were SO MANY REWRITES. So many edits. So many conversations with my best friend. April 2025 was consumed by this chapter. Any moment to myself was spent thinking about it. This chapter is so very important to me, and so integral to this story. This one is a bit of an emotional roller coaster, and it may be the longest chapter of this story to date. Like all the chapters thus far I poured my heart and soul into it, but this one is special. I certainly wasn't going to post it until I was truly happy with the final draft, but now that I am happy with it I am also so thrilled to share it with you. I hope that you enjoy and I hope that the blood sweat and tears that went into this make for some good fanfic reading.

Mando'a: Di’kut - idiot, useless individual, waste of space Di'kutla - useless, worthless, stupid adika - little one cyar'ika - darling cyare - beloved ner - my verd - warrior ratiin - always ner burc'ya - my friend ni kar'taylir darasuum - I will know you forever (I love you)

Warnings: Cursing, violence, death, major character has a panic attack, vague conversation about religion, bastardization of canon events, I take some... liberties with the Force, fluff, lots of feelings from everyone, a reference to Labyrinth if you squint. I know that Labyrinth can't exist without Star Wars, but I wanted to use it anyway regardless of the fact that Earthling's Earth has no Star Wars... just go with it.

As always, strictly 18+, minors DNI

AO3

*****

The road to Corvus proves to be long and depressing, taking a few of the bleakest weeks you've experienced on the Razor Crest thus far. Moving about the ship feels completely miserable and it’s taking everything you’ve got to hold yourself together for the sake of your loved ones. But with each day that passes as your mobile home stretches across hyperspace, your ability to do so feels more waning than the last. Even that one spell when you and Din had been quietly mad at one another for several days felt like a nice family road trip compared to this. Instead of being mad at each other, however, this time the two of you are just equally trudging though the murkiness of one another's misery.

You haven't been sleeping well. When you do manage to get some rest it's back to being without your cosmic companion squished against you, which is likely contributing to the problem in the first place. Din's simply been too antsy to be cramped up in that tiny sleeping cabin with anyone besides himself, and he's told you as much multiple times. In your bones you know that when he does try, he can’t sleep either. He hasn’t complained about it outright, but the sound of his restlessness is obvious in the constant weariness which has chosen to settle in his voice as of late. It sounds as if everything in him has been worn so thin that he’s working with only useless shreds of himself. You can tell that he tries his best to sound normal in front of the kid, but when it’s just the two of you speaking you hear the torment in your love’s sullen tones. 

“I can't relax enough to fall into real sleep,” he’ll respond in that same dejected manner when you ask him to join you in bed, “I fear I will just keep you awake with my constant fidgeting. It feels like I can't breathe in there.”

At this point you've ceased pestering him about coming to bed all together. The last few times the urge has bubbled up your throat you’ve shoved it back down, tired of that little pang of disappointment you feel each time he refuses. You're desperately missing the feeling of his strong body snugly flush with yours, wanting your own sense of comfort and security back at such a tough time like this.

Din does, however, make himself comfortable on the floor just outside the cot every night, listening as you read The Ruins of the Exiled to the kid. He hasn't missed a bedtime yet. It's the one genuinely nice and lighthearted part of the day for either of you. You'll be curled up in that poor excuse for a bed with the child in your lap, and your Mandalorian will be at the mouth with a bare hand reaching in to stroke your leg or caress your foot. It's comforting for you to have that touch from him in those moments. He's clearly using it as a way to communicate to you that he is trying his best to be present even if it's incredibly difficult for him to articulate that right now. Until this miserable trip is over and done with, it's the best you can hope to get from him.

It's after one of these reading sessions when you find yourself curled up in the cot thinking about possible outcomes for the future. Above you the child sleeps soundly in his hammock. Looking around the dimly lit sleeping cabin and trying to imagine how empty it will feel without the little one’s snores dangling over you, a sharp sting to your heart causes that thought to quickly dissipate. Instead, in an attempt to pull yourself from the pit of despair’s tempting edge, the image in your mind is replaced with a wildly contrasting scene. 

One of a child’s bedroom, decorated and filled with things only a child could want. The warmth of a real home, not a nook on a cold spaceship. Much as you love the Razor Crest, you're aware that it cannot sustain a full life. 

That image warms you for a moment, until everything around you is unexpectedly in disarray. Somewhere in the midst of all this contemplating the ship has suddenly dropped from hyperspace. Without warning, the world as you know it is violently lurching forward. With a frightful little squeal the kid comes falling out of his hammock and into your arms, and frightful noise of your own escapes your throat as the both of you tumble out of the cot all together. The pain in your right ass cheek feels like it's going to bruise from the way you land, but thankfully the kid is unscathed as you cradle protectively against your chest.

“Ugh, what the hell was that?” You ask yourself curiously before holding the child out to examine him, fingers brushing his forehead gently after he shakes his ears out like a dog drying its wet fur. “You okay, sweetie?”

The kid blinks up at you a few times, nodding and giving the 'thumbs up' gesture you've recently been teaching him for yes and no responses. Your heart soars a little at the sight of his two little fingers curling into a fist, noting that it's the first time he's flashed his 'thumb' without your prompting.

“What about our Mandalorian, I wonder?” A frown creases your facial features, asking the child this rhetorical question with worry in your tone. Then you move to get up, rushing over to the ladder. With your free hand cupped to the side of your mouth, you're calling up, “Din?! Is everything alright?!”

When an answer does not immediately follow you look down at the kid with even more worry knitting your brow. “What do you think that was all about, buddy?”

The kid coos and shrugs in response. You make quick but careful work of climbing up just enough to shove the kid onto the ground up there so that you may safely climb the rest of the rungs yourself. Once on the Crest's second floor you're scooping the child into your arms again, pressing the button for the cockpit door to make your way inside.

Din is in his seat facing towards you but he does not look up when the door opens. He's hunched forward, elbows balanced on his plated thighs. The silver of his beskar helmet is encased with the brown leather of his gloves, the orange tips of his splayed fingers pressing into the visor and forehead.

You hear him cursing in Mando'a under his shallow breath. Barely audible, the hiss of the modulator every few words is giving him away more than anything. The stars sit eerily still behind him. It dawns on you then that the ship has not only dropped out of hyperspace but is also completely sedentary.

“Din? What the hell happened to the ship? Are we okay?”

Din doesn't move, nor does he answer you. The string of Mando'a curses and phrases you don't understand continues to spew from his hidden mouth, the very sound of it sending jolts of anxiety through you. He's really starting to freak you out, having never acted like this before. You’ve seen him on edge plenty of times but this feels worryingly different. This is fucking unnerving . Moisture begins to spread through your palms, and the knot in your belly is dangerously close to becoming a deep pit.

Voice wavering, you ask him, “More importantly, are you okay, ner verd? ” Using the pet name you’ve adopted for him recently, you're attempting to pull him from what seems to you like some new form of panic attack.

Din has his special, lovely names for you which you cherish so much. So naturally you'd been wanting something personal to call him in return. Going through most of the ones common on Earth, none of those ever felt right to you. It seems wrong to call a Mandalorian 'honey' or 'baby'. Just doesn't sit well on your tongue. Then one day when you were practicing Mando'a the word for warrior came up. That's when the light-bulb appeared above your head. Din Djarin is your warrior. What could be more fitting than calling him just that in the tongue of his people? Laying half naked with him on the cockpit floor one night, you let the name slip from your tongue and it stuck the landing, so ner verd he quickly became.

Mindlessly, you're reaching for your warrior now, the gesture innocent enough, without considering his possible sensitivity around personal space at a time like this. It's a force of habit to touch him when he's feeling emotional, as he usually welcomes the physical attention. Your once touch starved lover usually acts as if he needs to feel the touch of your flesh against his more than he needs food or water. 

Which is why you truly don’t expect Din's entire body to react to your oncoming fingers, jerking back against the dark red leather of the pilot's seat as he hisses, “ Don't touch me! ” He says it so sharply, almost as if he thinks that when you touch him one or both of you will burst into flame. Clutching the armrests of his seat, he shakes his helmeted head fiercely back and forth. “I am not worthy of that name. I am not worthy of anything . Di’kut! Di’kut! Di’kut! Ni di’kutla!”

The child's ears cast downwards and he makes a fluttering little noise of distress. You're flinching backwards too, putting a decent amount of distance between Din and the two of you. Moving over to the kid’s seat, you gently sit the foundling down with a kiss to the top of his head before turning back to face Din.

Hearing him say those things about himself, to call himself something like an idiot or a worthless waste of space in Mando’a, is completely discombobulating. 

It feels like you’re not even looking at the man you consider to be your warrior right now. He looks like someone else, body moving in frantic ways so alien that your heart fills to the brim with fear at the sight of it. This is the man you rely on, the man who both protects you and teaches you to protect yourself. The man who makes you laugh without even trying and makes you cum at the drop of a hat. The man you’re certain you want to spend the rest of your life with. Face or no face. Green Bean or no Green Bean. Up until this moment you were so fucking sure that Din Djarin is it for you. Is that surety faltering? 

No, certainly not. This may be the most he’s ever freaked you out, but that doesn't change the fact that you’d be lost without him. The only sure thing you see when you attempt to glimpse far enough in the future for your hair to be gray and your skin to have sagged is a beskar helmet by your side and a tan, wrinkled hand tangled in yours.

With a steadying breath, you remind yourself that Din Djarin is it for you. He’s the one and only. The person you intend to be with for as long as humanly possible. Din’s helped you through so many emotional ups and downs since the two of you met, and perhaps there have been times that he was just as frightened as you are now. Lord knows he’s seen you in similar states of distress.

Normally he’s the one who’s level headed, or has everything figured out. On the surface at least. It’s only really apparent to you at this moment that perhaps your warrior has only had things half figured out. He’s a natural leader, but that doesn’t mean he’s always in the headspace to lead. 

Feeling determined to show him the same amount of trust and respect he usually displays for you, some of that fearful urge to flee gets pushed to the side. 

Stepping forward slightly, careful not to get too close, you finally say to him, “Whatever happened to the ship sure scared the hell out of Green Bean and I. We got thrown out of the cot.”

His head finally snaps up at that, his voice tenderly asking, “Are either of you hurt?” The worry in his tone is so severe, causing your heart to surge with worry for him.

“No, we're fine. Shaken up if anything,” you reassure him evenly, “It’s you I’m concerned for.” Then your brow furrows, disquiet riding your tone, “Din, please talk to me. What's going on? Are we in danger or not?”

“We're not in danger. I-I dropped us from hyperspace on purpose,” he responds, visor clearly avoiding your gaze as he hesitates.

Springing from a furrowed position up towards your hairline, your brow continues to move along with your emotions. This time there's a surprised tone riding your voice, “I thought we still had like seven hours to Corvus?”

“We do. I... I don't know what came over me. I was sitting up here thinking about everything. Thinking about him ,” Din gestures towards the kid, and you notice his hand is trembling. Then he adds, “And then all the sudden hyperspace sounded so damn loud. Like a sharp painful dinging, as if the natural volume of the world increased out of nowhere. The noise of it made my chest hurt and my skin crawl. I needed it to stop. Needed everything to stop.”

 “So you stopped the ship cause you needed everything to stop?” you ask tentatively.

He nods, “Still do. Even my own voice sounds like it's screaming at me right now. Yours too, and those noises the kid's making. Shit. It hurts . I've never felt this before.”

“You’re very overwhelmed. Sounds like an anxiety attack,” you say quietly, “and a bad one at that.”

“I don’t know about that, but I do know that I am not fit to carry on. I can’t do this anymore, cyar’ika.” After that his breathing becomes shallow again and he barely sounds like himself as he frantically mutters, “ I can't do this. I am a poor example of a Mandalorian. My beskar should be melted down and donated to those in need. Those with more honor than myself.”

Your chest begins to seize up a little with a mini anxiety attack of your own, your already weakened sense of security beginning to crumble under the weight of this sudden shift in your surroundings. “Din, you’re scaring the shit out of me right now. You don’t sound like the man I know under that beskar. Nothing’s more terrifying to me than seeing you like this.”

“I don’t know who the man under this beskar is anymore. Maybe I never knew.” The way his head tilts up to look at you as he says that, shoulders as slumped as they ever have been, makes you feel both beaten down and desperate to get this situation under control.

“Listen to me,” with your hands out in defense, you murmur, “I'm not gonna touch you. Promise. Do you want me to go back downstairs and leave you alone for a little bit?”

With a sharp intake of breath he quickly shakes his silver head, “ No. I do not wish to be alone. I... I need you,” he says your name, the cadence of it strained.

Nodding, you ask, “Can I sit on the floor here in front of you, then?”

“Yes.”

“Do you need me to get you anything?”

“No.”

“Okay. I'm here for you. I’m freaked out and I’m worried about you but I’m here . I’m not going anywhere unless one of us needs space.”

“I'm sorry for snapping at you like that. I shouldn’t have yelled.”

Moving slowly so as not to upset him, you lower down and cross your legs in front of you, sitting with your back straight and your hands on your knees much like in yoga. Looking up at him, you gently pat the area on the dark metal ground in front of you, beckoning him down to your level. You’re determined to get your guy to come back to you, even if for but a moment.

Then your face muscles strain as you try to send him an understanding smile, hoping he can read your expression and feel safe as you address his apology, “I'm not worried about that right now but thank you for apologizing. I know you didn't mean it. Do you think you can try breathing with me to get your rhythm back to normal? That shallow breathing you're doing is actually making the anxiety worse. I learned about this in therapy. Your thinking brain needs all the oxygen it can get right now. One trick to snap out of it is to do some breathing exercises to relax your nervous system. The idea is to make your brain realize you're safe in order to stop using the fight or flight response. I’m anxious too, and I think we need to calm down enough to really talk.”

Wordlessly and unceremoniously, Din slides forward from the pilot's seat and lands with a dense thud on the floor, moving to get into the same seated position as you. After a moment his head tilts up so his visor can finally meet your eyes.

Slowly, in and out through your nose, you take a few deep breaths and he audibly begins to mimic you. Gently, you explain, “What I want you to do is inhale for a count of four, hold it in for a count of four, exhale for a count of four, and then hold for another count of four. Then you do it all over again. We will do this for as long as you need to, but after a few rounds your body should start to relax. Feel free to close your eyes.”

Din nods, and for the first time since the day you first met him, his stiff and stoic beskar face suddenly has you completely thrown off your game. At an emotionally critical moment like this, seeing his real facial expression would help in so many ways. Without it you're not sure if you know how to gauge when the anxiety attack is ebbing away or how bad he truly is feeling. You want to feel certain that it's pretty fucking bad, though you're not sure if trusting your intuition is enough in this situation. You've become fluent in the body language of Din Djarin but, as you told him, you've never seen him like this before. These are uncharted waters, and it would certainly be a bit of a life raft to be able to look at him right now.

But would actually seeing his anguish truly help? Or would that just unnerve you even more? Would seeing real pain in those mythical brown eyes you try to imagine from time to time break your heart in a brand new way? Is your heart strong enough to withstand what something like that might look like? 

Suddenly the barrier of beskar between the two of you feels like a brick wall, and you’re scared shitless when you look at him. 

Ignoring yourself, the very notion of that feeling like a betrayal, you begin breathing with the box technique and he soon follows along fairly in tandem. Eyes slipping closed, your own body begins to relax into the feeling of it despite this being the most unrelaxed you think you could possibly feel. 

After about eight or so rounds, Din's voice breaks through the uneasy silence which envelopes the cockpit, “That helped. Thank you. I feel a little more like myself now. Embarrassed, perhaps, but me again.”

Prying your eyes open, you see his body in a more relaxed position with his helmet's visor fixed right on you. You’re still feeling unnerved when you look at him, but you try your best to maintain the offered ‘eye contact’. “You're welcome. You sound a little more like yourself, but I’m still very worried about you right now, Din. I know you're not okay.”

He chuckles, the eerie sound of it devoid of any humor, “No, I am very much not.” Then his head shifts as his gaze moves to where the kid sits off to the side, and suddenly the low rumble below his chest plate is flooded with genuine humorous energy. “Look at our foundling, cyar'ika.”

Din’s sudden shift in mood has you on edge, hating the feeling of him reminding you of your past. One minute this to one minute that is what your home felt like growing up. Feeling that with Din now makes your heart sink a little, but logically you understand that though this may not be normal behavior for Din Djarin it is normal behavior for any human being going through something substantial. 

Calming yourself with that knowledge, your gaze follows his. Head turning to see the child sitting crisscrossed just like you and Din, you truly cannot fight the little smile tugging at your mouth. The kid looks so mellow, big eyelids closed with his little hands at his knees as his ears lay in a relaxed position. From the looks of it he's fallen into a deep meditation, which isn't something new for him. He does it from time to time, and you’ve always assumed it has something to do with his powers.

Chuckling along with your cosmic companion, you momentarily gush, “God, he's so cute. He's the cutest kid in the whole universe. Not a single human baby holds a candle to our little guy.”

Din makes a choked noise, his visor still fixed upon the child. “I love him,” he says your name after this statement, the cadence of it so desperate as it rides the saddened tone of his voice. Then the kid's eyes pry open and he looks right at Din, who says directly to the child, “Maker forgive me. I love you so much, pal.”

Tears well in your eyes at that, unable to hold back the little quiver of your lip. “I know you do. I could see how much you love him the moment I met you both on Nevarro. I mean, I called you his dad that evening because it just always felt true. You love him as you would a child of your own, and that's obvious to just about everybody you meet.”

Din responds with a shaky voice, looking back at you, “He's felt like my child from the moment I first laid eyes on him. I can't explain it. That pram opened and I just felt connected to him for some reason. I tried to fight that feeling off, explain it away. Tried to tell myself the kid was not my problem just because I was the one who found him. But I think we both know how good I am at ignoring my feelings,” he says this last part sarcastically, with another humorless chuckle.

The self-deprecating way he says that causes you to frown, groaning a little in frustration. “I’m so tired of watching you beat yourself up over loving someone. Have you ever stopped to think that trying to ignore these feelings doesn't work because it's not natural to push it all away? I understand why you were so cautious of getting emotions too wrapped up in this, but I think that ship sailed a long time ago. Long before I came along.”

Silver pauldrons drooping as his shoulders slump, Din sighs, “I suppose you're right.”

A moment of silence falls between you and then you speak up again, “Can I ask you something?”

“Yes, love,” he replies. 

Eyes narrowing slightly, you ask, “What was the plan for after you dropped out of hyperspace?”

He looks away, “I thought about changing our trajectory to somewhere else all together.”

With a surprised expression, you’re aware that you sound a little sarcastic, “Did you have a place in mind for this grand escape?”

“I don’t know. I do not know what I was thinking,” Din replies, then looks back at you for a long moment as he ‘eyes’ you up and down. “I am surprised that you're not encouraging me to do so anyway, though.”

With a raised eyebrow, you shoot him a very irritated look. “As the one who is strongly against this little trip to Corvus I do understand why you would say that, but I'm kind of offended that you assume I'd so readily encourage you to go against your creed.”

Din sighs, “I think a part of me is hoping you will convince me to.”

Now both of your eyebrows raise at that, a small amount of anger rising up your throat to meet your words. “ Wow . Is this why you called yourself a poor example of a Mandalorian?”

His head hangs, “Yes. I feel ashamed to wear this beskar for even thinking about going against the creed, so perhaps deep down the idea of you making that choice for me feels alluring.”

With a deep and pissed off frown, you find yourself doing one of the rarest things you’ve ever done to Din Djarin. You are scowling at the man, tongue razor sharp, “Are you fucking serious , Din? Do you know how fucking unfair that is? Making the choice for you is probably the craziest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

“I am not proud of the impulse,” he says defensively. 

“So?" you bite back, "It still makes me feel so frustrated with you! I thought that you were braver than that, Din Djarin. My warrior, ner verd , is not a coward. Not the Mandalorian I know.”

“What is it that you mean to imply?” Din’s own ice cold frustration is now lacing his tone, replacing the hopelessness that had been there a moment ago. 

“ I’m not implying anything. I’m just angry at you for putting that kind of weight on me when you know very damn well that I would have stopped this wild goose chase months ago given the chance. If I could have things my why we would have never left Nevarro after that beautiful week we spent together. Do you have any idea how much it hurts to hear you imply that you would just stop if I really tried to convince you? To imply that it would have been so easy this whole time? It feels like a betrayal of the trust I’ve extended to you when I have actively put your feelings about this above my own for months.”

Din’s voice waivers, anger still riding the tone of it despite the little falter you hear, “I never asked you to put my feelings above your own.”

Throwing your hands up in frustration, you're trying not to yell at him even though you want to. “You didn’t have to, dammit! I did that because I care about you. It’s wrong of you to hope I will suddenly become the selfish one so that you don’t have to be. I would never encourage you to make a decision that I think you would ultimately regret. If I acted on those feelings I would be acting against you .” As you pronounce that final syllable, the weight of it causes your eyes to mist over.

He sighs heavily, some of the tenseness ebbing away, “I can see that what I said was out of line. For that I apologize. But it’s how I feel, cyar’ika. It’s how I’ve been feeling for days.” 

With a heavy sigh of your own, you feel your nerves relax slightly. You’re upset, but fundamentally it's with this situation more than it is with him. Aside from snipping, which you’re also entirely guilty of when in distress, he hasn’t truly committed any wrongs against you. 

“I get that. I really do,” you eventually reply, “I was just taken aback. Even if I thought that begging you was an option, I would not humiliate myself by acting so childish about this. A person who acts on emotional impulses like that isn’t fit to be caring for a kid in the first place. I’m not going to say I feel like I can be a mother if I’m not actually mature enough to be one.”

Din sounds like he’s starting to truly feel embarrassed, "I shouldn’t have placed that pressure on you. I do not wish to disobey the creed, tempting as it may feel. It was a moment of weakness and I am not proud of it.”

Moving so that your legs are spread, you gesture for him to come sit so that you can hold him. Din scoots over, and the mass of him with all of his armor settles in between your knees before he's leaning back into you. He's laying with most of his body across the floor, but his upper back is against your stomach and his helmet rests against your breasts. With your arms coming to circle around his broad shoulders and hands resting on his chest plate, you lean in to place your right cheek against the cool beskar.

“Din Djarin, you do know that your dedication to your creed is one of the many reasons I admire you, right?”

“You've made comments as to that, yes,” he agrees, “but I still do not fully understand why.”

Settling in, you reply, “I wasn’t religious on Earth. My family tried to force their beliefs onto me as a kid but I never believed in their false values. You see, their religion’s message claims to be all about love thy neighbor and good will towards others, but then a lot of the people meant to be spreading these values are filled with so much hate. People like my grandmother, who claim to uphold their principles with grace and yet treat those who do not meet their expectations with a foul ugliness. You are the complete opposite of that to me. Even when you've had to kill because the nature of this lifestyle requires you to do so, I've never sensed real hatred or ugliness in you or your ideals. Ideals that, in all honesty, certainly line up very closely with my own. Loyalty, honor, family. For you, the creed is just about who you are as an individual, and if you're upholding your own values or not. You're not concerned with others' values unless it's someone close to you, and even then I don't mean that you're pushy about it. I just mean you're careful about who you let in.”

“Mm,” he hums in agreement, “that observation of me is sound.”

Hugging him tightly, your words flow freely, “The creed is so fascinating to me. Firstly, because it has nothing to do with worshiping a deity. Secondly, because you have never once tried to force anything you believe onto me. Thirdly, because watching you stay true to yourself even through all of this heartache has been both hard and beautiful. I wish you could see yourself from my perspective. You're a beautiful person, Din. You're strong, devoted, fucking hilarious, and the best partner I could ask for. I’ve never known anyone like you, and I mean that in the best way.”

“I appreciate that,” Din says quietly, “I appreciate everything you have to say.”

You're kissing the back of his helmeted head, breath from your nostrils fogging the cool surface as little warm lip marks pepper beskar. “You owe it to yourself, to the Mandalorian I know you are, to see this mission through to the end. I've come this far with you. I will go with you wherever we must go next. But we've gotten way too close to turn around now. Green Bean deserves to make his choice and you deserve to maintain your sense of honor. It breaks my heart every second of the day, but we have to carry on. We have to see this through as a family, even if we can’t be a permanent one.”

Din brings your hand up and presses it to where his lips are beneath the beskar, a kissing noise coming from within its confines as your flesh meets the cool glass-like material of the visor’s bottom half. “We will always be a family, even if we are not all together. Thank you for keeping me steady,” he says.

“Ratiin, ner burc'ya. Ni kar'taylir darasuum.”

“Ni kar'taylir darasuum. I fear I would be lost without you if I had to do this by myself.”

The two of you lay there for a long moment but when the kid rustles around and makes a chirping noise, you both begin to stir. Din gets up to his feet and offers you a hand. He uses it to help you up from the ground, pulling you into him for a proper hug once you're on your feet.

“I was waiting for the right occasion to give you something,” you say up to him cryptically, “and I think right now is the right occasion.”

“Mm?” Din hums curiously, tone much lighter than it had been when you first entered the cockpit.

Detaching yourself from Din, you move to lift up the child from his seat and dump him into Din's arms. Turning on your heel, you leave to climb back down to the first floor of the ship. “Stay up here for a sec,” you're calling after him as you run off through the open door.

*****

“You know what this is about, buddy?” Din asks the child in his arms, looking down into his large brown eyes. That fearful ache inside him from before is very much still present, just under control for the time being. He feels so grateful for your presence in his life right now, unsure of how he would be handling what just happened on his own. He's certainly felt anxiety before, but this ‘attack’ as you called it was frighteningly new for him. And an attack is very much how he would describe it if he had to. It came at him both from nowhere and everywhere, surrounding him. Besting him instantly.

It may be his most harrowing battle to date.

The child happily coos, and Din can't help but chuckle in spite of the heaviness within his chest, “Of course you do, don't you?” Brow furrowing beneath the beskar, Din adds, “I meant what I said, adika. I love you very much. It was wrong of me to consider abandoning this mission for selfish reasons. She's right, you deserve to choose your own fate.”

The kid nods, babbling his private little language up to Din as he makes a face Din cannot quite distinguish. The Mandalorian's heart both swells and breaks simultaneously.

Suddenly you’re rushing back into the cockpit looking delighted, and his curiosity is even more piqued. Din wasn’t sure what he’d expected when you’d run off, but he certainly wasn’t expecting you to place a tiny holoprojector into his gloved hand.

“What is this?” He asks curiously, turning the little black cube over a few times before looking at you. The thing seems like a very basic version of the same tech he's used in the past.

“A holoprojector,” you answer with excitement guiding your every movement, bouncing on the balls of your feet one foot at a time.

“I know that,” Din replies with a hidden smile, “I meant to ask what's on it. Usually these are round and a little bigger. Meant for sending and receiving images. I take it this thing lacks transmission capabilities and doesn't have a lot of space for much?”

“Just enough space for one hologram,” you agree, grabbing the device to turn it on before giving it back to him. “I bought this the same day I bought the reader pad. The kid and I wanted to give you a gift. You do so much for us. I thought it would be nice to show our appreciation. Some shop was offering what I, a mere Earthling, would describe as a photo shoot and this thing for a decent enough price. Green Bean and I love you so much, Din. No matter what happens on Corvus, we'd like you to always have a reminder of that to keep with you.”

Din's heart flutters when a grainy three-dimensional blue image of you posing with the child in your arms comes to life in his palm. The image is from the waist up. You look radiantly beautiful, giving your best smile. Your planet necklace from Smuggler's Moon is on display at the base of your throat, just above the loose round shirt collar. The kid looks so happy, dark eyes shining along with his wide grin and his ears pointed upwards. Both of your heads are titled in towards one another.

Chest swelling so greatly that he fears the chest plate of his armor may crack, Din feels himself swaying a little from the intensity of it. The kid squirms around in Din's grasp so that he's standing on Din's inner forearm, tiny arms splaying out as he puts all of his weight into gripping Din's upper chest in a big hug.

Cursing the fact that he's covered in so much beskar he cannot feel the pressure of the tiny foundling's embrace, Din sucks in a sharp breath. Almost knowingly, you move forward to gently take the holoprojector from him. At that moment Din has both arms around the child and he's tilting the helmet down to graze the foundling's wrinkled green head, silent tears flowing freely from his weary brown eyes.

*****

Corvus is gross. That's really the only way you can put it. According to Din, this planet was once beautiful. Industrial pollution and devastation have ruined most of the forest surrounding the small city of Calodan. The air is thick with a greenish smog which you can practically taste as soon as you're off the Razor Crest. Din landed the ship outside of the city limits far enough away for some privacy from the locals, so it's a short trek through desiccated woodlands to reach Calodan’s unwelcoming looking gates.

The city itself seems like a hell hole. Din keeps the kid somewhat hidden behind his cloak, the child riding in the satchel at Din's hip so you can both be on high alert. You're armed and ready, but for what you have no idea.

Upon getting let in by some sketchy looking mercenary named Lang, you and Din make your way through a city both in despair and disrepair. Its locals seem utterly petrified of everything, including Din when he tries to approach a family outside of their home. The reaction of the father is so intense, a lump forms in your throat after that.

You see why the citizens live in fear when the Magistrate's lackeys have you and Din dragged to her ridiculously lavish garden. On the way into her domain, you pass by a group of locals being kept like animals in the most inhumane electric cages you've ever seen. It's so horrifying to watch that you have to look away, and you can tell that the kid is equally disturbed at Din's hip. You would have preferred for him not to have seen that.

Once inside the obscenely contrast garden, you quickly realize that the woman Din is dealing with is pure evil. So you stay quiet and allow him to conduct his business with her. When she brings up needing help eliminating the Jedi who plagues her, your stomach drops. The vile lady brings Din a spear made of pure beskar, offering it to him as payment if he were to hunt and kill this Jedi for her.

Din wisely doesn't respond to this bargain, but leaves her unpleasant company in a way which suggests that he is going to take the job. You know Din well enough to know that he wants nothing to do with that woman, but he'd needed to get all of you out of there without making a fuss.

At the edge of the city, Lang looks down at the child on Din's hip with a curious sneer, “What is that thing anyway?”

The child glares at him and gurgles angrily.

“I keep it with me for good luck,” Din quips back, sounding both sarcastic and like he'd like to rip this obnoxious guy's head off.

You'd certainly like to do that yourself after hearing him refer to the kid as 'that thing'. The little glare the child sends up his way is definitely not lost on you, a smirk finding the corner of your mouth. Atta boy, kiddo.

As Din gestures for you to keep walking, the nasty little man shouts after your party, “You're gonna need it where you're headed!”

Trudging through the ruined wasteland of a forest, you're staying mostly quiet at Din's side while he navigates. For one thing, everything about being on this planet has you feeling miserable. Polluted, gray-green air. A woodland that must have once been beautiful is now infected by greed and capitalism. Innocent citizens being treated like meat in those awful cages. A Magistrate who clearly needs to meet her comeuppance sooner rather than later. That village is an awful feeling place and you hope to never have any reason to go back. Being there is like an exaggerated version of all the worst things about Earth.

On top of all of this, a Jedi seems to be just around the corner. Every step further into the forest feels like a step further away from your family, and that feeling has you completely cornered at the moment.

Din must notice your silence, because he looks over his shoulder at you in a gesture which you read as curious but with a splash of worry. “You're uncharacteristically quiet, love,” he observes.

“I just hate this planet,” you respond honestly, “being here is unpleasant for a multitude of reasons.”

“I relate to that senti-,” Din begins but is quickly cut off by an attack from above.

You can only watch in stunned horror as an alien woman suddenly appears out of thin air, two swords made of glowing beams of light striking directly into Din's armor. His beskar blocks the attack easily, but now a fight is abruptly breaking out between your cosmic companion and some stranger. A stranger you are willing to bet is the Jedi your party is reluctantly looking for. She's undeniably beautiful, and perhaps the most interesting alien species you've encountered thus far. Almost like a twi’lek in the sense that she has fleshy protuberances in lue of hair, but she’s also completely unique in every way.

Flamethrowers and whipchords are expertly used on her by your warrior, but the woman easily gets out of these attacks by moving her body with the same sort of ease and grace as Jupiter. The cat-like movements are certainly impressive, but worry for Din is your only concern right now. 

After flipping over a branch she draws her light-swords again, and Din suddenly stops fighting with his arms raised in the air.

“Ahsoka Tano!” Din shouts with a blaster in one hand, the other hand held out in a surrendering motion. At the sound of her own name, the woman halts. Din quickly adds, “Bo-Katan sent me! We need to talk.”

The Jedi woman's gaze finally moves past Din and lands upon the child in your arms. Slowly, she moves to a normal standing position and disables her swords. It looks as if the light gets sucked up into the hilt. She then tilts her fleshy head curiously, sounding almost delighted in a way, “I hope it's about him .”

*****

“Your pacing has me on edge,” your voice quietly slices through both the ambient night-sounds of the desiccated forest and the uneasy racing thoughts of an increasingly worried Din Djarin.

Din's feet stop moving for the first time in twenty minutes, and he looks down at you apologetically. “Sorry,” he says quietly, moving to sit down beside you on the long rock you've been perched on.

“No need to be sorry,” you say, shooting what he interprets to be an apologetic look in your own way. “I just needed you to stop for a second.”

So stop he does... until his left knee starts bouncing a mile a minute. Then he feels your right hand come to press into the area of his thigh not covered by beskar. Again, this seems to do the trick of grounding him for only but a moment.

“She hasn't said a word, yet they've been at this for nearly two hours,” Din remarks. “I feel like I'm going crazy .”

“I think she’s communicating with him using the Force,” you say, eyeing him for a moment before looking back over to the Jedi and the kid with an anxious expression. “Can they do that? Is that a Jedi thing?”

Din shrugs in response, at a loss.

You shake your head, “All I know is, I feel incredibly judged whenever she looks over at us like that.”

Din follows your gaze and the scene of the two of them, faces lit by the lantern's soft orange glow with a full moon backdrop behind them, sends a shiver up his spine. Just as you said, Ahsoka looks over at the two of you briefly and Din’s blood runs a little cold. Suddenly all of this feels more real than it did a moment ago, his chest tightening.

After a few more moments of silence, Ahsoka Tano rises from her seat and gathers the child in her arms. As she begins heading back over, Din shoots up from his seat to anxiously meet them halfway. You get up and follow close behind him.

Ahsoka sits the lantern down on a small rock, followed by the kid on a slightly bigger one. She takes a seat to the kid's left and looks up at the two of you patiently.

Then she and the kid eye one another for another long moment. A small smile creases her lips and forehead, the white patterns of skin surrounding her clay-tan face altering.

Din feels desperate to know what is going on, asking, “Is he speaking? Do you... understand him?”

Ahsoka looks down at the child, tucking her hands into the pockets of her thick gray poncho. “In a way,” she says evenly. Then she looks up at Din, adding, “Grogu and I can feel each other's thoughts.”

“Grogu?” Both foster parents say this in unison. Din hears you sound just as shocked as he does.

The kid's head whips up at the two of you as little noises erupt from his tiny mouth, big dark eyes crinkling happily.

“Yes,” the Jedi responds, “That is his name.”

Din feels the name out along his tongue once again, a warmth spreading through him as he pronounces the two syllables slowly, “Gro-gu.”

Again, the kid's ear's perk up and his head whips up to look at the person who said his name. His name . Not just 'the kid' anymore. Not Green Bean. Not adika. Grogu .

Din says it once again for good measure, chuckling a little at how happy it makes the child. “I like it. It sounds like you, kid.”

Agreeing from beside Din, you move to squat down and grab for one of the kid’s tiny hands with a loving smile gracing your lips. “I like it too. You have a wonderful name, Grogu. Very handsome and distinguished.”

“What else did you learn about him?” Din asks the Jedi woman.

She takes a controlled breath, that stoic energy of hers unfaltering as she relays the requested information. “He was raised in the Jedi Temple on Coruscant where he was trained by many Jedi Masters. After the Clone Wars, when the Empire rose to power, he was taken from the temple and hidden away. From there his memory becomes... dark. Filled with much fear. That fear only starts to subside when the two of you begin caring for him. Then the fear morphs into something else.” As she says this last sentence, her tone is laced with something Din cannot place.

“Have you met another of his species?” You inquire from Din's side.

“I have only known one other like him. A wise and powerful Jedi known as Grand Master Yoda,” Ahsoka replies, meeting the child's glance when a look of recognition washes over Grogu's face. Did the kid know this grand master?

From there she asks if the child can still wield the Force, to which Din replies to clarify that she indeed means the kid's powers. She explains that the power Din speaks of is being drawn from the Force, which she describes as an energy field created by all living things. The concept of it makes little sense to Din, but many things have made little sense to him ever since Grogu came into his life.

She tells the group that wielding the Force takes a tremendous amount of training and discipline.

Din responds by saying that his task was to bring Grogu to a Jedi.

“The Jedi Order fell a long time ago,” Ahsoka replies.

“So did the Empire yet it's still out there, working in secret. It must be the same for your people,” Din argues, gesturing to the kid as he feels himself getting frustrated. “He needs your help.”

*****

The kid's been looking very tired for the last couple of minutes or so, eyes slipping closed for longer than a blink here and there. When he and Ahsoka clearly share another moment of feeling each other's thoughts, she lets out a long sigh and shakes her head. The look comes off as if she doesn't like or agree with this situation one bit.

Join the club, sister , you can't help but think. Ahsoka's eyes flick to yours the moment the thought leaves your brain, unsettling you more than anything you've seen today. She looks at you as if she heard you think that.

After a moment, she looks away and declares that Grogu should sleep, and that she will test his abilities in the morning.

Din gets up and scoops the child into his arms, nodding down to Ahsoka, “Thank you for speaking with him. We've waited months to know anything about his past.”

“Especially his name,” you interject with a yawn as you stand to join them.

Looking you up and down for a long moment, Ahsoka regards you curiously. “May we speak before you retire?” The Jedi asks, surprising both you and Din as noises of shock manage to escape from you both simultaneously.

Nervously, you ask, “Why do you want to talk to me of all people?”

“A feeling,” she replies simply.

“A feeling about what?” Din asks, tone concerned.

Ahsoka ignores Din's question, continuing to look only at you. “What planet are you from? It is not of this galaxy, is it?”

“No, it's not. Did Grogu tell you that?”

“He didn't have to. I could sense it when we first met. I must ask you, are there force sensitive individuals on your planet?”

“Ha, they wish. Not that I am aware of. From what I understand no one on Earth has special abilities.”

“Not even you? Or someone close to you perhaps?”

“Absolutely no-,” you start to scoff. But a feeling of realization dawns on you, and suddenly you're remembering everything your grandfather told you back on Tatooine. “Actually there is someone. But I don't know if I believe that he's what you would describe as force sensitive.”

“Cyar'ika, do you mean Richard?” Din asks, and you nod at him with a small frown before looking back to Ahsoka.

“The reason I am in this galaxy is because my grandfather built a device which used the energy of a black hole to transport us here from Earth. I don't even truly know how far away we are, I just know it's far . My world does not have the technology for long term space travel like most do here. We are very behind when it comes to that sort of thing. What my grandfather built is completely unorthodox. He shouldn't have even been able to build it in the first place, let alone conceptualize it. But he told me that ever since he was a little boy he's had dreams of this galaxy. Vivid dreams as if he were really here himself. As he got older he began to feel like these were not dreams at all. When compared to how the other people around him dreamed, what was happening to him during sleep each night was not that whatsoever. He felt that he was seeing a window into another part of the universe. One that made more sense to him than the one we came from. Does any of this even make sense?”

“I am following. Please continue,” Ahsoka says kindly, gesturing with a bow of the head.

“He told me that he eventually began to journal every morning to create a faithful record of his nightly visits with as much fine detail as he could remember. Eventually he became a brilliant scientist and a talented engineer. It took decades of his life but he eventually figured out the formula for how to make his machine work using what he learned in his visions. After he came here he learned of the Force and felt that was the explanation for why he dreamed of this place. He feels he is connected to it somehow and it guided his way here, but that's all he's said about it. No powers from what I can tell.”

“And do you agree with this?” Ahsoka asks.

“I honestly didn't know what to think about it when he told me this, but it's just as good an explanation as any I suppose.”

“Have you ever experienced similar dreams?”

“I don't think so, but I don't remember every dream I've had either.”

Ahsoka regards you for a long moment, contemplating. “At the Jedi temple there was speculation of the Force stretching far beyond the reach of just this galaxy. The Force is a part of the entire universe, and therefore the Force is present in the entire universe. The Jedi merely believe that we are the first ones to learn to wield it. It is only logical that early stages of Force sensitivity are beginning to appear on worlds that have no knowledge yet of its existence.”

Din gestures to you as he asks Ahsoka, “So could her grandfather learn to do what you and Grogu can do? We've seen Grogu do things that we cannot explain.”

Ahsoka shakes her head, “One must train to wield the Force from a very young age. If this individual is old enough to be a grandfather then he is too old to learn. And I believe that whatever connection he may have with the Force is not the same as what Grogu or I experience. It may not even be the same as what you experience,” the woman says your name as she addresses you.

“I'm very certain that I have no connection to the Force at all,” you reply confidently.

“Then explain why I can sense you in the way I can sense Grogu,” Ahsoka bites back just as confidently. “I cannot sense your Mandalorian this way. He is there, but his presence in the force is not pulsating like yours is.”

“Pulsating?” With a scoff and a wave of the hand, you readily dismiss her claims, “I can't explain something that isn't true.”

Grogu makes a little noise as if he's hurt by what you're saying, and your head whips over to him in concern.

“Ah,” Ahsoka says with a knowing little smirk, her blue eyes shining, “ there it is.”

“There what is?” you reply defensively, thinking idly in the back of your head that you're starting to sound like Din.

“You could feel Grogu just now, couldn't you?” The Jedi asks, her expression knowing.

“When he got upset? I could tell, yes. I'm his caregiver and I have been for months. I can tell lots of things about him. It's not the Force. It's because I've gotten to know who he is as a developing person.” As you finish this you’re shaking your head.

Ahsoka is shaking her own head in the negative, “He got upset because he doesn't want you to dismiss this connection to the Force as it is also a part of your connection to him . You merely need to learn to understand it. Not to wield it, as I do not think it is like something to be wielded, but to fully understand it.”

“What are you saying?”

“Have you always been able to sense the feelings of others?”

“I... I don't know how to answer that.” Thinking back to your childhood, you could always tell when your parents were about to get into a big fight. Anytime their emotions were heightened it felt as if the house was crashing down around you from the pressure of it. You'd just grown to assume that their volatile relationship forced you to become very good at reading the room to avoid any second hand abuse. Perhaps this trait followed you into adulthood, but it's never been something you stopped to consider until now.

Ahsoka’s eyes narrow slightly, as if she’s trying to figure you out. “Do you feel it took you a long time to get to know Grogu? To understand his needs accurately?”

Shrugging, you answer, “I suppose not. He and I were on the same page almost immediately.”

Ahsoka turns her attention to Din, “Do you feel this observation is correct?”

He nods, looking back and forth between both women, “I recall being surprised by how quickly they bonded, but I equated it to her natural maternal instincts.”

“Yeah, I just always assumed it was because of that too,” you agree, brow furrowing as you consider the possibilities of what Ahsoka is implying. “Even with other kids I've watched I just felt like I always knew exactly what they needed from me. But with Green Bea-shoot, I mean Grogu , it definitely feels like our connection is stronger than any I've shared with another child.”

“Another indication,” Ahsoka says, “That name you called him when you had nothing else. Do you not agree that the cadence of it sounds similar? It even begins with the same sound.”

Now you're really scoffing at the Jedi woman, “Oh don't be ridiculous. I call him that because he's green and it was a cute little nickname.”

Grogu again seems distressed, and both women stop to look at him for a moment.

Ahsoka meets your eyes as she goes on, “Or perhaps it is subconsciously what your brain conjured when Grogu wanted to share his name with you? He showed me the memory. He was trying very hard to communicate with you that day, and he used a great deal of his power to try and make you feel his name.”

“I... Are you serious?” You're dumbfounded as you glance at the child again.

“Very,” she replies evenly. 

Looking at Grogu, mouth slightly agape, you cannot quite believe what you are being told. “Well I got close, sweetie,” you tell him with a shaky little laugh, halfhearted smile trying its best to reach your eyes. This revelation has you feeling exhausted suddenly.

“And what of you two?” Ahsoka is looking between you and Din with a curious expression.

“What do you mean to imply?” Din asks, voice on the edge of being defensive as he comes to stand closer to you.

Considering the possibilities of this, your body sinks back down onto a rock, facial muscles going slack with shock. “I think she means did any of this play a factor in how we ended up romantically entangled. I worry the answer is yes now that I really think about it.”

“Grogu told me that your Mandalorian will not remove his helmet in front of another living being, including you,” the Jedi says to you, and then to Din, “A Child of the Watch, I believe?”

Frowning, your voice drops a little, “And you feel that I have been able to sense his feelings this whole time and that is why we are close regardless of that factor?”

“It certainly couldn't have hurt,” Ahsoka replies knowingly, and you cannot help but sense that she is purposefully trying to get you to feel that knowing glance. Not to just see it and interpret it. The fact that you even understand that from her is a little mind boggling.

Could this truly be something that you've never known about yourself? Would this explain odd things from your past? Could this actually be real?

“This is a lot to take in,” you say, heavy waves of exhaustion flowing through you. Din's hand is on your shoulder giving it a comforting squeeze, so you reach up and touch the light tips of his gloved fingers.

“As I said, this is not so much an ability you can wield. Think of it as an extension of yourself you did not realize was there. But I understand that this is a bit daunting. We can discuss this further in the morning,” the Jedi says wisely, dipping her head in a kind nod.

*****

On the Razor Crest, the air is so thick with tension that it feels impossible to move through the space comfortably. Once the sleeping kid is tucked away in his little hammock, the two adults take to the second floor of the ship to speak without disturbing him.

Driven to tears, a sob escapes your throat as you throw yourself down in your seat. Drawing your feet up on the leather so that you can hug your knees, you take the opportunity to bury your cries into the meat of your thighs.

As Din makes sure everything looks good on the Crest's controls, he then flops down into the pilot's seat and spins around to face you.

“I'm sorry,” Din says lamely. “I know that this news of Force sensitivity is disconcerting. I want you to know that it makes no difference to me. You know me better than anyone, and if the Force helped that along then all I can do is thank it.”

“I appreciate you saying that, Din. But it's not just that. The Force thing I can deal with, if I even believe it. Which is something I'm still trying to figure out. It's Grogu , Din. I don't want to say goodbye to him tomorrow.” After you say this, another great sob escapes you and you're forced to muffle it in your thighs again, body quaking.

He sighs, “I feel responsible for this misery.”

“It is not your fault. I broke the number one rule in any caregiver job. I became too emotionally attached to my client. And my client's dad. Christ, Fran Drescher eat your heart out,” you say this last part with a cynical laugh as you wipe at your nose with your sleeve.

“I'm too tired to handle Earth references right now, cyar'ika,” Din croaks out weakly, slumping down in his seat.

“Humor is my coping mechanism,” you reply with a halfhearted shrug, waving him off. “Just ignore me.”

Din shakes his head fiercely, “Ignoring you would be cruel. I do not wish to be cruel to you when we're both this vulnerable. I already feel responsible enough for your pain and I do not intend to cause any more. I tried not to let things get this far, but admittedly I didn't try very hard. As much as I preached about not playing happy family... about not getting too attached... you know I was just as guilty of doing it myself. I am both weak to my desires and a hypocrite, as it would seem.”

Shaking your own head in the negative, a deep frown creasing your tear-stained face, you counter with, “I don't consider any of the last nine months, nearly ten now, to be 'playing family', Din. What I have with the two of you is the realest thing I've ever felt in my life.”

Din sighs, head dropping, “I misspoke. Perhaps I am the one who should be ignored.”

A sigh of your own falls from your lips, shoulders slumping, “Neither of us is going to be ignored tonight. I feel sensitive so I picked apart your words and that's not fair. For that I'm sorry. We need each other now more than ever.”

“You know that 'playing' is not how I see this. It's just hard to string thoughts together right now.” Then Din's voice waivers, and you can hear that he's fighting weeping when he speaks again. Or did you 'sense' that? “This is probably our last night with him, cyar'ika. The thought of it... I do not think I have felt a pain like this before.” As he says this he begins rubbing the chest plate over his heart.

“It hurts for me that way too. It's like this searing burn. Right here, right?” You point to the area right between your breasts. He nods, and you're really contemplating the possibility that what Ahsoka said about you is true. Are the two of you experiencing similar pain, or does your empathy truly run that deep? What a strange notion. Then you add, “And the pain is draining down into your stomach, making you feel almost nauseous?”

“Something like that, yeah.” Din makes an indistinguishable noise, the helmet looking at you with an energy you don't recognize. It comes off as so defeated, and that's something you cannot abide.

Getting up to move towards him, you're placing a hand on either arm rest as you lean over him a little. “We are strong . We both know how to lose people. But this is hard . Maybe one of the hardest things either of us has ever had to grapple with. It's not going to be easy, but I do think that together you and I can find our way out of how shitty this feels one day. Things can't feel shitty forever. You're worth every ounce of patience I have to give. I hope you'll show me the same in return.”

“I will,” he breathes, modulator hissing.

“I don't think I'll get much sleep tonight, but I say we go get in the cot and just be close to our boy while we still can.”

Din's hands find your waist, gripping slightly as his helmet tips upwards to allow for the visor to meet your eyes. “Before we retire, I need to thank you. I know you do not want any of this to happen, yet you've handled yourself with such grace. Your respect for my creed is, as always, appreciated more than you know. You may not walk the way but you are just as formidable as any Mandalorian woman I've come across, if not more. That warrior’s heart of yours is the strongest muscle in your body, ner cyare.”

Moving so that your forehead softly butts into his for a kiss, tears cannot help but re-form in your eyes as you softly utter the words, “This is The Way.”

The helmet's modulator hisses with the little gasp you hear hitch in his throat, his body reacting along with it. First there's the little flinch of surprise, then his arms swiftly move to envelope your hips and the firm metal of his helmet comes to rest against your abdomen. He squeezes you, and as your hands move to lay upon the silver beskar which clouds your only love's surely anguished face from you, his clearly anguished voice whispers, “This is The Way.”

*****

The next day Ahsoka Tano is waiting outside of the Razor Crest as the three would-be family members emerge. After a restless night, both adults are feeling completely miserable as they greet the Jedi from halfway down the ramp. Grogu seems to be in good enough spirits though, babbling at the Jedi woman as she greets him with a squeeze of the hand and a bow of her head.

“Good morning, Grogu,” she offers warmly to the child in Din's arms, a smile finding her intensely blue eyes. Then those eyes move to the two adults, nodding in greeting. “I trust neither of you slept well by the looks of it.”

“How could you guess?” You reply sarcastically from Din's side.

In a rare moment of understanding your need to lighten the mood, Din says to you in a sarcastic tone of his own, “It's obviously the bags under my eyes.”

At that, you snort loudly, letting out a short bark of a laugh, shoving at his shoulder a little. The kid giggles against Din's chest as the Force of the shove causes Din to rock backwards a bit. He finds himself grinning despite the misery in his heart, and for the first time he really does understand that with you by his side he will eventually overcome this loss. His life will not be without joy, even if it has to be without the child.

The white markings which frame Ahsoka's face alter shape slightly when her brow shoots up, an amused smile finding her lips as she observes the display. After a moment, she beckons the group to follow her deeper into the forest.

Soon back to the area they were in the night before, Ahsoka leads them over to the mossy rocks and fallen trees. Its bright green color is a stark contrast to the desolation surrounding it, making the patch of land feel oddly beautiful.

Ahsoka turns to face Din, though her attention is on Grogu the whole time as she says, “Now let's see what knowledge is lurking inside that little mind.” With a delicate finger to the kid's nose and then a hand resting on his chest for a moment, the way she smiles down at him indicates to Din that she's communicating with him again.

She separates herself, gesturing for Grogu to be sat down on a large rock. Din obliges, and when he squats to sit Grogu down he rubs his back in an encouraging little gesture of 'you got this, pal' without verbally saying it. Considering everything he learned about the Force the night before, Din feels confident that the kid understands.

Lifting up from the squat, Din comes to stand next to you a few feet away from them. When he reaches your side he notices your eyes are a little wet as you turn to look up at him. Din reaches for your hand, holding tightly once his gloved fingers find yours. Little do you know his eyes are just as wet beneath his helmet. Not only do you hold his hand in return, you adhere yourself to it. He squeezes it fervently, hoping that you can also feel his intention through the Force like Grogu.

With you by his side, Din watches Ahsoka pick up a small rock and hold it in the palm of her hand. She then flips her hand and holds it straight upright, the rock floating in midair as she pushes the thing towards Grogu. It slowly floats into his hands and he chirps.

“Now return the stone to me, Grogu,” she orders, hand out.

He looks down at the stone and frowns, looking back up to the adults with worry in his eyes.

Din also frowns, offering lamely, “He doesn't understand.”

“There's no way he doesn’t,” disagreeing with a shake of the head, you add, “we've seen him move stuff around with his mind plenty of times. Grogu, don't be shy sweetie, it's okay.”

Ahsoka's face is soft as she says, “It's okay. The stone, Grogu.”

Din looks at the kid and then nods sideways towards the Jedi woman encouragingly. Come on, kid. You got this.

Grogu suddenly makes a noise of frustration and drops the stone all together. You make a noise beside Din, eyes flicking to him before back to the child with worry. Ahsoka sighs and walks forward, each movement of her body so graceful as she squats down to hold Grogu's hand.

Eyes slipping closed, she remarks that she can sense much fear in the child. “He's had to hide his abilities to survive over the years. But the fear I sense in him comes from a different place... let's try something else. Come over here,” she commands.

The kid doesn't move, and Din motions for him to go over to Ahsoka with a nod of the head in her direction again. Still he doesn't move, looking down with a frown. “He's stubborn,” Din says, at a loss for why Grogu is suddenly being so shy about his powers.

“Not him,” Ahsoka replies, gaze turning to Din, “You. Both of you. I want to see if he will listen to you two.”

You meet Din's gaze through the visor, nodding to him as he leads the two of you to where the Jedi stands patiently waiting.

Handing him the stone, Ahsoka gives an encouraging nod.

Din holds his hand out, “Come on, kid. Lift the stone.”

“Grogu,” Ahsoka says into Din's beskar covered ear.

“Grogu,” Din repeats, and the little noise the kid makes is so sweet that Din wants to give this whole thing up and run back to the Crest with the child in his arms. To tell this Jedi lady never mind and high tail it the hell out of there. But instead he forces himself to say, “come on, Grogu. Lift the stone.”

The kid still refuses.

A deep frown creases your brow, shaking your head as your voice takes on a worried tone. “Yes, he's stubborn sometimes, but so is every child. This isn't like him, Din.”

“Connect with him,” Ahsoka interjects, “I have seen the way you two are with him. Be that way now.”

“Wait, I have an idea,” Din says, digging into the pocket of his utility belt for the silver ball from the cockpit. He'd found it earlier that morning and forgot that he'd shoved it in his pocket until now. “Grogu, you want this? Your favorite toy, buddy?”

Grogu's little green face perks up at that, ears lifting.

“Oh good idea! Come on, Grogu. Take it,” you're encouraging from Din's side with that kind, loving smile of yours directed at the foundling.

After a moment of hesitation, Grogu uses the Force to take the ball from Din's hand. Both adults cheer and hug one another before moving down on one knee to praise him, each telling the kid they knew he could do it with loving little pats on either tiny shoulder.

And that's when Ahsoka suddenly declares gravely, “I cannot train him.”

Both adults stand to attention.

“What?!” Din exclaims, mouth going slack under the helmet.

“But he just did the thing you wanted him to do,” you argue with a confused tone, brows knitting.

Ahsoka shakes her head, “He's formed a strong attachment to you two. His attachment makes him vulnerable to his fears. His anger .”

Din can't wrap his head around this at all. “All the more reason to train him.”

Ahsoka looks scandalized. “ No! I have seen first hand what these feelings can do to a fully trained Jedi Knight! To the best of us...”

As she lets this last bit trail off, Din can't help but feel that she's drawing from a deep well of private pain and he relates to that anguish in her face. It's only there for a moment, but it's heavy. He knows the searing pain of loss when he sees it.

Her voice returns to a more neutral tone as she shakes her head, stating firmly, “I will not start this child down that path.”

“Please help us to understand, then,” you plea in return, eyes flicking over to meet Din's helmeted gaze every now and again. He reads the worry in your furrowed brow, but in your eyes the gleam of hope is unmistakable.

Din's own hope is beginning to swell in his heart, but he tries his best to sound calm about it as he says, “My task was to return him to the Jedi. If you are going to refuse I need to know why.”

Ahsoka sighs, looking away from everyone for a moment as she turns her back to them. With her hands clasped at the small of her back, the Togruta woman's impressive striped lekku on display, she takes several deep and calming breaths. Then she turns to face Din and his family once again with a serious expression weighing on her striking features.

“Jedi must free themselves of possession and attachment. Attachment is antithetical to the Jedi way of life. When one becomes attached to something or someone, one begins to fear losing what they have found. Fear of that loss can lead to jealousy, greed, anger, negativity. Negative feelings are normal. All feelings are normal. As Jedi we learn to feel through our emotions and move on. We do not let them consume. When a Jedi becomes a slave to their feelings, it can lead them down the path to the dark side of the Force.” Ahsoka's face becomes grim as she ends her speech with a firm statement of, “I would not wish that fate upon any child.”

“What makes you think he would become a slave to these feelings?” Din asks defensively.

Ahsoka's blue eyes narrow in Din's direction. “Because, Mandalorian, he already is! You and her have corrupted this child with so much love and affection that he cannot bear to be separated from it! I told you I sense much fear in him. Grogu is absolutely terrified that I'm going to take him away from you two. Even though I have already assured him that I am not .”

The look on your face is so filled with relief that you seem suddenly younger almost, the life finding your eyes again as a smile slowly creeps up your lips. Din can hear the joyful surprise in your voice, asking the Jedi, “You're not? ”

Ahsoka's face softens as well, her own lips curving upward as she nods once towards you, “I am not.” Then to Din she says, “And I never was.”

Din's a little taken aback by that statement. “What do you mean?”

“Grogu showed me last night that he does not wish to resume his Jedi training. He feels that path is no longer the one the Force has set him on.”

Din looks at the kid, frowning under the beskar as he looks him over. The little guy looks almost scared, like he's worried about the reaction this news will receive. Gently, Din asks him, “Grogu? Is that true?”

Grogu looks away as if he's ashamed of himself for a moment, or embarrassed in some way. Din moves to crouch down in front of him and you're soon coming to squat down as well.

“Sweetie, it's okay,” you soothe the child, “no one is upset with you and you're not in trouble.”

The motherly voice you've taken on is not lost on Din whatsoever, his heart swelling at the sound of it. His own tone softens more as he assures the child, “Yeah, buddy. We are not mad at you. This choice was always yours to make. It was my job to get you here so you could choose.”

Grogu's little face looks relieved, and at that he begins reaching for the two of you with little babbles and coos.

When you both grab for one of his tiny hands, Ahsoka declares, “You are like parents to him. Grogu showed me these feelings last night in great detail. He allowed me to view a glimpse of the life he has lived with the two of you. This child hasn't felt this happy or safe in a very long time. In Grogu's eyes, you are his mother and father. With you he is home.”

Din's so overcome with love, eyes slipping closed for a moment as the information sinks in. The reality of it. His deepest wish, the thing he's secretly yearned for for months... is suddenly the true outcome of this long quest after all? Maker, his heart wasn't prepared.

Then he hears you asking, “If you never intended to train him, why the test of his abilities?”

Din's eyes open as Ahsoka is explaining, “It was necessary for me to see how much he can still wield the Force, as well as the validity of the attachment between all of you.”

“And your conclusion?” Din asks.

Her smile is genuine, “The three of you are a family. One I believe to be brought together by the workings of the Force. A unit not meant to be broken. At least, not for a very long time.”

“This is music to my ears,” you're happily saying to yourself, a hand to your chest.

“There is one other reason for the test,” Ahsoka addresses Din as she speaks, “Grogu wanted me to ensure that you upheld your oath. He showed me how important your Mandalorian creed is to you, and he did not want you to feel as if your mission was a failure.”

Chest swelling, Din looks right at the kid as he declares, “Nothing about this quest was a failure, Grogu.” Dank farrik , if only the kid could see the pure joy on Din's face right now.

“Thank you, Ahsoka,” you say genuinely.

She gives a single, graceful bow of the head. “I have delayed too long. I must return to the village.”

“The Magistrate hired me to kill you,” Din declares as she begins to turn to walk off. As those words leave his mouth, she stops in her tracks and turns to him with a raised brow. “Offered me a spear made of beskar as payment. I did not agree to anything. For your help with understanding the kid, with Grogu , I will help you eliminate her before we depart.”

*****

You have no interest in joining a fight right now, so when Din asks you if you'd be okay with taking Grogu home to the Razor Crest while he and Ahsoka take care of the awful Magistrate back in the city you're thrilled to agree. Imagining the beautiful Jedi facing off with the evil woman in her very Kill Bill Zen garden, with a lightsaber in place of a katana, a smile can't help but form on your lips at the grizzly mental image.

And so the two of them construct a plan while you lovingly cradle Grogu to your chest, humming one of his favorite Earth songs to him. Din eventually shares a meaningful embrace with each of you, and then both parties set out to go their separate ways.

As you and the kid are making your way back to the Space RV alone, a stray thought comes to mind. Are you really ready for this? Do you have what it takes to do right by this kid?

A weird moment of fear strikes your heart at that, enough to stop you in your tracks. Grogu makes a little noise at you from his perch in the satchel and when you look down at him it hits you that you really are going to be his mother now.

Ahsoka Tano, a real Jedi what-have-you, has declared it to be so herself. Grogu readily agrees, according to her testimony. You still can’t shake how strange it felt to watch her silently communicate with him. A small pang of jealousy surfaces at the memory of it, wanting to be able to listen to his coherent thoughts in the same way. Feel them , as she had put it. Perhaps it's a skill you can build with practice if what she claims about you is really true. 

From what you gather, you’ll never be able to ‘wield’ it like Grogu, but perhaps you can teach yourself to understand your connection to the Force and how it relates to your connections to others. Dramatic as it may sound, you’ve always felt like you can see the best and worst in people whether they try to hide it or not. But that’s not something you ever attributed to any sort of otherworldly ability. It always just felt like you would get a hunch about someone’s feelings or intentions and be right about it. Sometimes this works in your favor and other times it can cause complete chaos. Your accuracy record isn’t perfect by any stretch of the imagination, either. You’ve been wrong plenty of times, but you’ve also been correct enough to feel that perhaps Ahsoka’s observation of you is not false after all. Perhaps you do have some minor form of an ability.

It’s just so bizarre to think that there’s anything different about you at all. Back on Earth you idolized sci-fi stories and characters with special abilities, always pining for a life like that. To realize that in a little less than a year you’ve gotten the chance to live out what was once your heart’s deepest desire in nearly every aspect, that’s enough to make your head spin.

But your heart’s deepest desire has evolved just as much as you have in the last ten months. Now when you close your eyes to dream of a life you feel satisfied with, a Mandalorian and a green child stand by your side. That same green child who is perched at your hip as you walk towards home, the green child who thinks of you as his parent. 

The fear you felt a moment ago is what you assume most new parents feel on their first day. But this isn't your first day. You aren’t new at this. You’ve been with this kid for a long while. He’s felt like your son for the last couple of months now, so why the sudden trepidation? Is it because now it's actually real ? Ahsoka called the three of you a true family. Unlikely loved ones brought together by the mysterious ways of the Force. A unit that is not meant to be broken.

The intensity of what you feel now is unmeasured. After months of looking for a Jedi. After months of fearing the loss, the pain, and the suffering that would inevitably follow. After months of constantly worrying that this loss would drastically alter the dimensions of your relationship with Din. After months of trying to mentally prepare for unimaginable heartbreak... suddenly that heartbreak isn’t going to happen? 

The truth is… you hadn't really planned for this outcome. No matter how hard you may have wished for it.

Back on Earth you'd been starting to worry that a child was never going to make sense for you. It always seemed so far off in the future. A distant dream. As you told Din once, adopting a child was something you saw yourself doing if you had the right partner to raise one with. But between dead-end relationships and dead-end jobs, the idea of it seemed pretty impossible by the time you ended up in this galaxy.

Now you have this beautiful little boy in your life and he's asked to be your son, for you to love him as your child. As you've said many times in the recent past, you would become his mother in a heartbeat. Now that heartbeat of opportunity hits like a great thunderclap all around you, shaking the very ground beneath your feet. All at once you know it to be true in your bones, that this is the course you’re meant to be on.

So the question now is where do you all go from here? You and Din are going to need to have a very serious conversation about what the future holds, but none of that really matters in this singular moment. Not when the child at your hip has acknowledged that he loves you as a mother to him.

"Grogu?" You ask him tentatively, the name still feeling a bit foreign on your tongue. The way he whips his little head to smile up at you when you use his name causes your chest to swell. Removing him from the satchel, you gently place him down on a big mossy rock in order to squat at eye level with him. "So you really do want me to be your mom, huh kiddo?"

He makes one of his little 'patu' noises in response to you, bowing his head in a single nod.

Okay, then. If it's a mom he wants, it's a mom he's going to get. Time to pull on those metaphorical mom jeans and talk to him like he really is your child.

"Grogu, sweetie, I want you to know that I am aware of how hard all of this has been on you. Constantly moving around. Having to hear me and your dad argue about your future. Being in danger half the time. I'm sure it was really scary and confusing, buddy. It was scary and confusing for us too. But I think that before you met Din, you'd been even more scared and confused. For a long time it sounds like. I'm so sorry for that. I'm sorry that you had to ever be put in this situation in the first place. I'm sorry you've had to see so much ugliness in your young life." 

The way he looks at you with such understanding in his big eyes causes your own to water, but you soldier on through what you need to say.

"I just need you to know this: Now that you're officially staying with us, you never have to question where your home is ever again. Ever. I love you very much, and I promise that as long as I am alive you will have a place in my heart. I've wanted a child for a long time, but I am so lucky that it gets to be you, buddy. You will always have a home with me, Green Bean. Shoot, I hope it's okay if I still call you that sometimes. It'll be hard to break the habit."

The kid seems to soak in these words, little tears of his own forming in his large eyes as he quite literally flies forward and into your arms. His body is so tiny, so it surprises you with a squeak when the Force aiding him knocks you backwards onto your ass. You can't help but giggle as he snuggles into your chest, but the giggle quickly slips into a sob as he squeezes you for dear life. 

Grogu's little form shakes as he cries into your shirt, soaking the material with tears, snot, and saliva. You could care less about the mess of it, sitting in the dirt as you comfort your weeping child.

After a little bit, Grogu hiccups and his breathing evens out. He looks up at you with his huge brown eyes as he motions towards the Razor Crest in the distance.

"Ready to go home? Me too, buddy. Let's go see what Jupiter is up to. Hopefully your dad and Ahsoka make quick work of defeating that nasty Magistrate lady. I don't know about you but I am so ready to get off this polluted rock.” 

Looking around the ruined forest land, a shiver runs up your spine as you move to get back on your feet. “Place gives me the heebie-jeebies.”

*****

Din's impressed with Ahsoka's skill as a warrior. The entire ruse leading up to Din's dramatic jetpack entrance goes off without a hitch, and the Jedi's abilities are unmatched as she takes out several mercenaries. It is no wonder the Jedi were once so revered.

He doesn't have to see her fight the Magistrate to know she is winning, the sounds of their struggle echoing throughout the quiet city are all the indication he needs. Lightsaber colliding with beskar, the unmistakable grunts of physical exertion.

Lang's silly little standoff with Din doesn't phase the Mandalorian one bit, the natural high he's still riding on very much at its peak. After learning that Grogu has chosen to stay, Din's not sure if anything could phase him right now. His heart is completely filled to the brim, making him feel utterly unstoppable.

Din pretends to listen as the man spouts off, knowing a betrayal is just around the corner. The faster the scummy little man tries to pull one over on Din, the faster Din can be on with his life. The newfound joy he feels when he thinks of the future is fueling every action in him. 

Din shoots Lang down when the older man attempts to attack, and though he holds reverence for the act of taking a life, he's thrilled to be done with this ugliness so he can get back to what really matters to him.

With the city freed from the Magistrate's tyranny, the locals are soon celebrating out in the streets with flutes and dancing. Within an hour the place is already filled with so much life compared to when he arrived the day before. Din watches a family embrace with relief lacing the emotion of it, and he's suddenly desperately ready to get back to his family to share a similar moment of relief. It occurs to him that he hasn't really been able to process this life-altering news of Grogu's choice to stay, nor has he been able to discuss it with the one person he values most.

Ahsoka comes to Din at the city gates, where she gives him the beskar spear and insists that it belongs with his people. She asks him then if she may accompany him back to the ship so that she may say her goodbyes to Grogu, and Din gladly leads the way. The music fades out as they head into the forest, leaving Din slightly saddened to hear its pleasant tones dissipate. If only he could save music from every world on his device. 

When they reach the Razor Crest, Ahsoka respectfully remains outside to wait for Grogu. Inside the ship, speaking of music, he hears your voice as you sing along to one of those Bowie songs you’ve corrupted him with.

This song in particular is one you sing to the child often, given that the odd lyrics seem to be about a magical baby. You’ve tried to explain the movie of its origin to him several times, but he fears it is one he would have to see to understand. 

Following your voice and the surefire scent of food being cooked in the galley, Din finds you happily attending a meal with one hand as the other holds Grogu at your hip. As your body sways back and forth, your hips wiggle along with the music and your bare feet gracefully step in and out of position. When you use the tongs in your left hand as a handheld microphone, Din cannot keep himself from holding in the loud snort which escapes him. 

Jumping a little with a yelp of surprise, laughter soon follows as you lift Grogu to squeeze him tighter, nuzzling his head with your cheek. “Looks like our dance party is over, sweetie.”

The domestic sight of it flares his heart, especially when you turn to meet his gaze with a radiant smile. You look probably the most beautiful you’ve ever looked to him in this moment. 

His own smile is one that he fears may get stuck there forever, tone playful as he teases you, “Mm, making dinner without me I see?”

“Just some noodles. Nothing as good as your food, I assure you. Grogu and I were starving so we had to make due without you,” you say with an equally playful roll of the eyes as you stir the sizzling food. “Seems like you made it back just in time if you’re hungry.”

Din reaches out to stroke a thumb over Grogu's little hand, telling both you and the child, “I am starving as well, but it's time to say goodbye.” When an almost comical look of horror crosses your features for a moment, Din quickly squashes your worry, “To our new friend. Not each other. Ahsoka's business here is finished and so is ours. She asked to say goodbye to Grogu and I figured it was as good a time as any to get on the road. Without the Magistrate the town should start to rebuild. It was already an improvement when I left, but I don’t want to be here anymore. The more distance between us and Corvus the better.”

“Agreed. Where are we going to go next, though?” you ask, setting the utensil down to fully face him.

“I don't know, but we can figure that out as a family,” Din replies, and the truth of the statement leaves him feeling like his life is about to change in ways he can't begin to fathom just yet.

*****

Next Chapter

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Masterlist

*****

Taglist:

@jokesonthem | @somewereinthegalaxi | @missbabyjay | @leithatnight | @theyoutubedork | @luc-k-y | @orcasoul | @erissco

[neatalchemist]

main five as things ive done (except i experienced psychosis and had hallucinations majority of my life) and im also extremely cringe

MOST OF THOSE R NSFW / MATURE 😭🙏 (no explicit stuff, mentions of it, drugs+alcohol+cigarettes mentioned)

kuras

> went to church on holy friday before easter(was eastern orthodox) to pass under the table and accidentally banged my head because i got up too fast, the table almost flipped

> always used dried up mushrooms on wounds/scratches when i used to work in the fields

> watched doctor house so much i was sure i could diagnose everything, gave myself a diagnosis and turned out correct

leander

> helped out the barman at work, and when people asked me for "a little whiskey with coke" i'd pour the cup full of whiskey and add a drop of coke for color

> was the teamleader at a school exchange event and did the orange justice in front of everyone to make everyone less embarassed of having to work together(no one spoke to me for the rest of the week)(i was 17.)

> brought a laptop to every lecture for my management class, played minecraft, when asked, explained that i'm voice recording the class to study later, got extra credit for being devoted and passed with 100%

vere

> almost fucked a weird girl because she said she'd give me weed(she had a knife collection and talked about fucking me with a knife to my throat often)

> collected Bones from The Fields to do rituals with(The Gods chose me)

> went into a sex shop and maintained eye contact while purchasing a Big One. (in english)(i still have some dignity)

ais

> got super drunk and smoked 3 packs of cigarettes, debated religion with a classmate and talked to a bottle of alcohol, cuddling it in bed(my lungs died the next day and i didnt smoke for a week)

> worshipped the Forest God, almost set fire to The Forest while doing a Ritual. Got caught, swore i'd never do it (i did it immediately again the next day)

> talked to The Entity in my room via a candle at 3 in the AM(but i was very mean about it)

mhin

> on my way to band practice, walked by an active shooting (guy barricaded himself in his house w hostages n was actively shooting at the street) with police and everything, blasting 'pain' by three days grace in my shitty headphones(the area was cut off but no one told me)

> graffitied the operator symbol all over my middle school in chalk(its still there)

> hallucinated ravens talking to me and trying to get in my room in the middle of the night, saying if i didnt let them in He'd show up (actually terrifying)

[kakao-lovey]

ㅤ♡ྀི ₊ How to deal with difficult people when you're highly sensitive

It's very easy to attract people who make bad choices when you give off the energy of wanting to help and make everyone happy. The truth is, it is very difficult to change a person's life. If they have consistently spent their life pouring energy into harming others through bullying, hate groups and gossip, chances are you won't change them. Because change would mean taking away their identity. I will not talk about 'Bad people' and 'Good people', because no person is inherently bad or good. 'Difficult' people, as I define it, have a pattern of making negative or harmful choices instead of positive ones.

My story

When the depression that ran in my family finally hit me at the age of 12, I looked for comfort with people experiencing the same things. Everyone in my friend group had their different ways of coping - from angry outbursts to online dating.

Eventually, I fell in love with a very beautiful girl whom I had become best friends with in the most miserable time in my life. She made me feel better, like I had someone with whom I could share all my secrets.

After a year, she broke off the relationship over text. It was never once angry, just a casual 'I don't feel the spark anymore'. She was difficult to get over, and it took me a couple of months. We grew apart, and in that year I started to heal. I went to therapy, had a long trial-and-error phase with psychiatric medication (But managed to find the right ones for me) and started to take interest in life again.

It felt like I was frozen solid in my depression, and when I thawed up, I became extremely sore and vulnerable. I cried over every piece of life that left me, may it be a tiny guppy or a seedling, because for once I had deemed life as worth living and therefore precious. I was (And still am) for the first time hugely fascinated by the things around me, passionate about nature, science and art, and exploring the world like a child. A year after my first breakup, I started receiving texts from unknown numbers with area codes I had never seen before. The first one asked my name, then sent a listen-once recording of her threatening me with blackmail, telling me to off myself and repeating all those same secrets I had told my friends those years ago.

More and more people messaged me, and it became too much. I changed my number, but the damage was done and I was deeply emotionally hurt. Suddenly, looking back at the time with my ex-girlfriend and our friends felt fabricated, like she was only pretending to want to be around me. I spent nights remembering the mistakes I had made, as an ill person, and it hit me like a brick to the face.

There were real-life confrontations, too. A friend of my ex-girlfriend showed me the groupchats she was in, with people all over the world passionately hating on one innocent person. She sent one of these victims a voicemail, while I was standing next to her, saying she hoped God regretted creating him.

I have healed from this, I can say with confidence. But, especially as a person with autism, I am always a bit of the laughing stock everywhere I go. So, I would like to share some advice to you lovies.

How to identify a 'Difficult person'

These here are a list of warning signs that may (In most cases, I believe) indicate that you should distance yourself from someone. These do not apply in every single case.

They joke about death: dark humour is okay, but people who make a habit of jokes on murder, cancer, or anything else that is serious and real tend to be desensitized and may (Mistakenly or not) make the same jokes when you or a loved one are in danger. They may expose you to hurtful media or even hurt you or an animal 'As a joke'. For example, when I was in medication-induced psychosis, my then-friends deepened my paranoia by saying things like 'But what if there really is a killer following you?'.

They disrespect your religion (Or any religion, for that matter) or spiritual beliefs: this is a huge sign, unfortunately, that a person does not care. If a person slanders your God(s) in front of you, it could seem like they are just being playfully annoying, but that is a disrespect you should never take, especially because that person knows you might leave, does it anyway, and therefore does not give a damn if you exit their life.

They make you feel tired, drained, or anxious: friendship is supposed to be mutually beneficial. If your friend is making you feel like a trainwreck after each interaction, leave. It is often your emotions telling you what you consciously missed, e.g. them being implicitly mean, making you feel unsafe or hurting another being.

They find your interests stupid, gross or childish: I have many interests that people disapprove of. Bugs and snakes, for one, are some of my favourite animals, and difficult people in my life kept talking about how gross I am for liking them. This could also present in people calling you a 'Nerd' for having science-related special interests, and going on about how they would never think about something as boring or complicated as that.

How to remain sane

If you just sent an important message to someone who might respond negatively, make a list of literally everything they might do or say in reaction that you can think of. It might look something like this: 1. They apologise and we become friends again 2. They send me a very long hate speech 3. They see my message and ignore it 4. They never see my message because they changed their number 5. They respond mysteriously with an unrelated emoji It may sound stupid, but it really helps! It makes you feel prepared for anything,

If you don't know what to say, don't say anything. Silence is your greatest weapon. Whenever you feel just slightly ticked off by someone, or they give you a red flag, keep to yourself, because they are likely to use anything you say against you. This is not to say that you should never ever tell someone a secret or have a vulnerable moment in front of people, just pick what you share to who very carefully.

Draw a very clear line with people. If you take anything away from this post, it should be that you can't keep putting yourself in their shoes no matter what they did. There's a boundary between mistakes and evil intent, and when they cross that, cut them off. It sounds cruel, but it is very necessary. Keeping negative energy away is the ultimate form of self-care.

Block, block, block. Change your number, if you have to. If you are in a situation where looking at your phone seriously endangers your mental health, you NEED to get out of there. Delete their numbers, block them on all social media platforms, and although is is more of a tip for cyberbullying internationally, if they live near you and confront you in real life pretend your phone got stolen or there was an error on your social media.

Limit your time spent thinking about the people who hurt you. Unless you are doing it in a productive way as self-reflection or to heal from trauma, overthinking and replaying every memory you ever had with them will do you no good. In my experience, it will actually interrupt your day-to-day life. Try to fill your day up with as many tasks as possible. Pick up old hobbies, read lots of books, study or work hard, make creative meals, anything that will occupy your mind.

Lastly, I wanted to mention that, if you are struggling with bullying, mobbing, anything that is hurting you, you are more than welcome to ask for help. From me, your teachers or parents, your siblings or relatives, even your *trusted* friends. Telling someone makes a world of a difference because you feel like you've got someone on your side.

If you feel like they've got dirt on you, you need to rethink that. Why? Unless you've said or done something that has directly hurt them, such as being mean or abusive, it could never match to what they've done to you, which *is* being mean/abusive. You having told them something about your identity, or you having said mean things about yourself or come to them with your problems is nothing. Love,

Kakao

[theninjamouse]

Apologies if you’ve already shared this, but could you tell us more about growing up in a cult?

Oh ho ho, I can for sure share!

It's not as crazy as like, a death cult or sacrifice the virgin to the old gods sort of deal, but I did grow up mormon. And it's become very clear in the last few years that mormonism is a cult. It's just hard to see it when you're inside, especially when you're born into it.

There's all the usual stuff that goes around, about special underwear, not being allowed to drink caffeine (until one day it was actually Allowed, but only for soda, coffee is still bad) and massive stigma about LGBTQ+ people. So I guess I'll just make a list of things I experienced/believed up until my early 20s

-Growing up as a kid in the church, we were taught hymns in primary school on sundays, such as 'I love to see the temple' which includes the lyrics 'I’ll prepare myself while I am young; This is my sacred duty' and Follow the Prophet, which basically tells us to listen to the prophet always and never question him

-Speaking of the temple, it's taught from an early age that if you do not get married in the mormon temple, when you die, you will not be with your family in heaven

-I was baptized at 8 years old. Because the belief is that when you turn 8, that's when sinning starts to actually count

-Baptisms for the dead! An actual practice this religion does. It involves people standing in for people who have died and being baptized. Because if you die without being baptized, you will never be allowed into heaven. So it is the 'duty' of the living members to stand in as a vessel for souls waiting to enter the top kingdom of heaven (there are multiple levels, I'll explain in a moment). The age to do this duty?

Twelve. 12 years old. And they say it's not a 'forced duty' but as a 12 year old, I never got the impression that I was allowed to say no. So, I went to the temple with other 12 to 16 year olds and was told to completely undress, put on the thin underwear given to me by the temple lady and the thick white jumpsuit that never fit quite right. Then, I lined up with the others and one by one, we would go into this room with basically a massive tub held up by gold oxen, and a grown man I sometimes knew, sometimes didn't, would put his hand on my middle back while I stood in the water and he would pray over me, using the names of the dead and then dunk me over and over again. This would happen about ten to fifteen times before I was done.

At the time, it seemed like an honor, even if it felt like nails scrapping across my skin just being in that place. And to even be 'allowed' to do this, each person who went in had to have a temple recommend. Which meant being an underage girl (girl at the time) alone in a room with a grown man, who would ask questions like 'Are you being holy? Are you following the commandments? Have you ever watched porn? Have you had sex with a boy?'

This interview process happened yearly, sometimes more for other things. Keep in mind, these were not trained professionals. These were just Some Guy that was selected to a leadership position. One of my bishops was a dentist. And he was in charge of asking us underage kids about our sexual health.

-Levels of heaven. There are 3 and as a kid, it was explained to me as seeing the lowest level like a tire swing, the middle one a basic playground park, and the top level an amusement park with all the best rides. If you weren't sealed to your family, if you weren't baptized, if you have never even heard of the church, you would never get into the highest level.

Hell was simply called Outer Darkness. Cause hell is a bad word, we don't use that word

-I was often scolded for choosing to participate in high school theater, because there would be performances on Sundays. Not by my mom! By random fucking people in the church. These same people basically shunned me the summer I did a temporary pink streak in my hair. Legit, they would ignore me in the halls, in the classrooms, in the chapel. While my hair had a light pink strip, I was scum.

-Sex and talk about relationships in general were a forbidden topic. The only times it was ever addressed was in the form of warning teenagers that if we so much as touched the opposite sex, then our own bodies would betray us into committing such terrible acts like 'petting' or WORSE. (What was this worse? well /cough cough/ you know). Dating was not allowed until 16 and even then, it had to be group dates. Every time, until you were 18.

-Once you turn...I think 14? I can't remember now, you would participate in events and I am completely blanking on the general term for it, but one of them was reenacting the 'Mormon Trek'. It was a way to remember the pain our ancestors in the church experienced on their journey to utah. So, we were forced to wear pioneer clothes and drag literal wagons for miles. Rain, heat, didn't matter. The year I did it, we had a small group of mostly girls and our two boys 'died' halfway through, leaving us to pull that stupid cart through rain and mud for the last several miles. In fucking missouri of all places. I was so covered in ticks afterwards I wanted to claw my skin off.

Wanna know why they don't do it anymore? Kids DIED. Of literal heatstroke. So they don't do it anymore

-Tithing. 10% of your money. Every month. If you don't pay it, you're not allowed to participate in several elements of church. When I was a teen, my family was so poor that we relied on food from the church. Awful, tasteless food that was meant to be emergency rations, the kind that pack on fat. And still, my family paid that 10%. We struggled and went without and STILL often do. And my asshole spawner will still pay anywhere from 8,000 to 10,000 A MONTH in tithing. Sorry kids, you can't participate in the school trip because we simply must put that money towards the church. Sorry kids, we're going to make you feel like actual scum if you dare to get sick because we can't afford to take you to the doctor.

-It is a literal, actual belief in the mormon church that people with dark skin were cursed by god. Because two 'evil' brothers of one of the 'og' mormon prophets tried to kill him, so god turned their skin black and forced them to be in exile, and all POC are descended from them.

I wish I was kidding.

-When I attended BYU, the students would all be divided into different 'wards' for sunday church. We then would have church in random school buildings, where of course, there was no 'reverence'. I remember being super upset at how rowdy the other kids would act. The leaders too would encourage dating among the members, like handing out free ice cream coupons that were only good if you had a date. Because the timeline of mormons is 'Graduate high school, go on a mission (mandatory if you were a boy), come back to college and be married within four years. Ideally sooner.

-The asshole spawner used to go on and on about how there was no point in planning for the future, because (and I quote, these are NOT my words) 'The Mexicans, the blacks and the gays are going to cause a war, there will be so much death, so much suffering and that is the only way to bring the Second Coming'. The Second Coming being when basically the world ends and all those who are 'worthy' get to go to heaven and everyone else dies and goes to outer darkness.

Which sounds like an absolutely insane take. But he would quote the bible, the book of mormon, teachings I had heard my whole life. So looking back, I guess it isn't surprising that I was suicidal in my late teens and twenties. I legit expected the world to end before I turned 30.

There's a lot of other stuff, but I've honestly blocked a lot of it from my mind. It got to the point where just walking into a church building would throw me into a full panic attack. The judgement, the staring, the pretend care from other members. Walking in late to church every sunday because my disabled brothers simply could not move fast enough in the morning would always bring the silent stares and the disapproval from everyone else. If I questioned things, if I dared to try and say that I didn't want to be a mother because I was terrified that my kids would disabled like my brothers, I was scolded and told that it was my duty to be a mother. My patriarchal blessing (which is a thing you get at 18) told me my life's purpose was to get married, have a ton of kids, work in family history and bring the gospel to other people. And if my kids turned out to be disabled like my brothers, it would be fine because that meant that they had a 'secure spot in heaven'. Same as my brothers. Never mind all the pain and struggle that came from all their medical issues, no, the important thing was that they were born, but keep them out of sight, they make other people in the church uncomfortable.

That's it. That was the entire point of me being on earth. According to some random, white old man.

I think one of the biggest turning points for me though was when it was announced that anyone who actively performed 'homosexual sins' would never be allowed to be a member. And if they had kids, if they had a partner with kids, whatever the case, those kids would also never be allowed to be members unless their disowned their parents.

And that hit my sense of justice like a fucking hammer. So, I haven't considered myself a mormon in well over 10 years at this point. There's a lot more to the bullshit that the church pulls, including the amount of money they take from their members under the guise of 'charity and supporting the church's needs'. Yeah, I'm sure that massive mall in Salt Lake City built entirely off of church funds was needed. Or the fact that no one EVER talked about how Joseph Smith had 40 WIVES. INCLUDING A 14 YEAR OLD GIRL and SEVERAL mother and daughter combos. No, cause that would've made for an awkward sunday school lesson.

The church prides itself on it's community. But what so many of those members don't realize is that the point of it is to create a sense of isolation from the rest of the world. The rest of the world is evil and filled with sin, but in the church you are SAFE, you are LOVED.

As long as you do exactly as you're told and never question anything that the old white men tell you.

Fuck the mormon church. I have spent the last 10 years unlearning all of the toxic bullshit that was forced on me. And I'm still not completely free of it. I don't know if I ever will be. I don't believe in god anymore. And even if there is one, I don't want his bullshit heaven anyway.

[sophieinwonderland]

Wait... are you pro-radqueer?

Radqueer is a very broad umbrella that can include a lot of other labels within it that I tend to judge on a case-by-case basis. I have nuanced opinions on each individually that could keep me occupied for hours going over.

Most physically transabled people (those who feel they should have physical conditions) are experiencing a recognized condition psychiatrists call BIID. I believe there's a mental equivalent experienced by mentally transabled people that has yet to be studied but will be in coming decades. And if it can happen in disorders, then it could happen in non-disordered conditions like transplurality.

I think people can experience dysphoria around things outside of these conditions and gender, justifying transspecies and trace as concepts. Though it doesn't really seem like my place to weigh in on whether people who experience racial dysphoria should identify as that other race. Although if I did, I might find myself ranting about how race isn't actually real and is a social construct made by white men to oppress others, and maybe the best thing for it would be to completely destroy the very concept so as to make it unsalvageable.

I think that hate against people suffering from paraphilias is extremely harmful since it's based on the brain and how people think, rather than actions people take. I don't believe in thought crimes, and to be blunt, hate against people with harmful paraphilias, treating them as subhuman for their thoughts even when they've never harmed anyone or anything, is a gateway to fascism and eugenics. It also distracts from people with who hurt others but don't have a paraphilia. Rather, they've done it because they're opportunists who are targeting the vulnerable.

I have issues with some parts of the community encouraging actual harmful behavior. I also think some labels are just kind of silly. For instance, I don't get "transreligion" when you can just make your own religious beliefs even if they're outside of the norm, and those beliefs would be as valid as any other religion.

With all of that said, am I pro-radqueer? I wouldn't really identify as such.

But I'm anti-anti radqueer, in that I genuinely can't wrap my minds around people who are seeing far right fascism take hold around the world, and trans people having their rights stripped away, and think "you know what would be a productive use of my time? Harassing people for being too inclusive."

In the end, this is a niche issue. The Right has now thrown their lot in with Russia, and we can't rule out them passing similar laws here in the US outlawing LGBTQ activism like Russia has.

If that happens, I expect some people are going to look back and realize that they spent all the time they could have fought for queer rights without being arrested instead fighting against people for being the wrong kind of queer.

This is not a time for division. This is not a time for infighting among queer communities. This is a time when you take whatever allies you can get wherever you can find them.

Because there is an evil sweeping over the world. And whatever kind of queer you are, you are in its crosshairs. And the only way to weather this storm, if we can at all, is going to have to be together.

[mythalism]

FMAB is the show of all time you are very correct and i have been wanting to do another rewatch of it myself. can i ask what you like about it? (love to hear people chat about things they really love !!)

WHAT A WONDERFUL MESSAGE!!!!!!! TALKING ABOUT FMAB IS MY FAVORITE THING IN THE WORLD!!!!!!!!

i think the most boring and least philosophical thing i love about it is the literal execution. i studied literature in college and storytelling as a craft is something i am passionate about, and i truly have never experienced a better, more expertly constructed narrative in my entire life. even if the themes or characters didn't resonate with you, i think anyone would struggle to argue that it is anything other than a nearly perfectly executed story. it has a clear message that it wants to tell; it states it plainly and without remorse. nothing is superfluous, every single scene and lines serves an explicit purpose that becomes clear at a later stage in the story. the characters are complex, flawed, realistic, interesting, and experience significant growth in ways that make logical sense. the lore, science, and worldbuilding is tight and does not lose itself in a confusing, abstract magic system. it's rules are clearly defined, and any deviations are explained, and have clear consequences. the plot is intentional and clear. it has incredible rewatch/re-read value because the foreshadowing is abundant. there is deeper political and philosophical meaning littered throughout for those who care to delve into it. the ending is near-perfect (id call the manga perfect, some show changes weaken it slightly. im looking at you roy finale scene...). there is not a single plot hole. every single thread that was introduced not only gets a satisfying conclusion, but a conclusion that has profound narrative impact. the way things come together in the final arc is actually breathtaking to witness and makes me giddy every single time.

on a more philosophical level, the overall message of the story is something that has resonated with me in a way nothing ever has in my entire life. a story that tackles religion, imperialism, genocide, and complacency within those systems with the goal of better understanding what it means to be a human being, and comes up with the conclusion that you are morally obligated to overthrow your evil government is fucking insane. i cannot think of anything else that so unashamedly makes such a statement. arakawa has talked about how japan's imperialism influenced the story, and it resonates similarly as an american. i just watched the first four episodes last night and i was struck by the freezing alchemist saying to edward "don't you know who you're working for and what they're doing?" and edward says, "who cares? its not my problem." and... well. if you have watched it, you know what he would have to say about that at the end of his journey. and isn't that were so many of us start out? is there a single more important belief to unlearn when you live at the heart of an empire? the way it so proudly declares that human connection is most powerful force in the universe floors me every time. it is a story that makes me a better, more thoughtful, more caring, more appreciative, and more accountable person, and it gives me hope for the world every single time i watch/read it. it has fundamentally changed my outlook on life and the human experience for the better.

i could keep going for literally years but i have actual schoolwork to do today so ill have to stop now. but im sure ill be writing thinkpieces on it as i get further in my rewatch. thanks for inviting me to yap <3

[lunamoonbby]

Cult!141 x Fem!Reader

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT MDNI

⚠️Warnings⚠️: Dark Content, Manipulation, allusions to past abuse very brief not in depth, female reader, swearing, murder, pregnancy, birth, poly relationships, smut, Cult AU, the use of lord in terms to worship, Price being referred to as Father, Slow Burn

If you or a loved one is experiencing abuse, know that there is help, and please help anyone that you know to help them escape from that abuse.

⭐️Author's Note: The religion that the villagers follow is not defined, but it is NOT associated with Christianity, Judaism, Islam, or any other type of religion there is⭐️

AN: I know I had said that I would post this chapter for thanksgiving, but I got so busy I didn't get the time and when I did, I was in "I don't want to do anything mood" I am sorry for the delay

Chapter 9: A Breakfast at the Tavern

Y/n walked away from the church in search of either Johnny, Kyle, or Simon. "Oof." Y/n bumped into someone. "Oi watch-. Lovie, I didn't see you there are you okay?" Simon asked concern laced in his voice. "Oh, hi Simon yes I'm fine. I'm glad I found you; I'm getting really hungry, and I was wondering if you know any places that are open?" Y/n looking at Simon. "Johnny said that he's opening his tavern just for the five of us so we can eat." Simon said looking at y/n moving a strand of hair behind her ear. "Oh, ok well let me go freshen up and I'll meet you and the others at the Tavern Restaurant." Y/n said blushing at what Simon did. "See you soon lovie." Simon watching y/n leave.

Simon entered the Tavern Restaurant. "Simon good to see you I assume that you also took care of business." Price taking a sip of his drink. "Yes, William will get what’s coming to him on Tuesday, also y/n said she'll be here just has to freshen up first." Simon looking at the door waiting for y/n. "I was feeling red when Liam threw at rock at my lovie." Simon admitted to John. "We could tell, you crushed a rock with your bare hands, hence why you’re the God of Death in this town. You come up with the most gruesome ways to kill a man, Simon. I myself wanted to start a war for my lovie right after the mass." John stated. "Hence why you're the God of War." Johnny looked at John, "I'm going to be closed for this week they'll starve, I don't care." "I wanted to jab them all with a dirty rusty needle and serve them a nonlethal dose of poison, but just enough to make them sick." Kyle and Johnny looking at John. "Johnny that's why you're the God of Famine, and Kyle is the God of Pestilence." John said looking at both Johnny and Kyle. "Something interesting I learned about Little Birdy, she wants to be a mother, she placed another set of flowers in the bowl, and I told her that the offerings she put today is for fertility, I explained that the first flower offering was for love and that this offering is for Fertility she didn't seem to mind. So, she's definitely our Goddess of Fertility, Nature, and Purity." John said in a calm tone. "I should have guessed that, when she picked the flowers, she asked if she could pick them, and a gentle breeze happened right after she asked, and she somehow knew that the gentle breeze was a yes." Simon looking at the 3 men said.

The bell to the Tavern Restaurant jingled. "Hello everyone." Y/n came in smiling. "Hello sweetheart, just in time I made you a new tea it's made with hibiscus and passion fruit. I hope you like it." Kyle gives y/n the teacup. "Thank you, Kyle, is smells amazing." Y/n taking a sip of her tea, "oh this really good. I love it." Y/n in pure bliss. "Lovie I'm glad you're here." Simon looking at y/n. "Simon I'm glad you told me that Johnny opened his tavern just for us." Y/n hugged Simon. "Ah I can't let my bonnie lass go hungry." Johnny said. "Ah little birdy, I mean y/n good for you to join us." John looked over at y/n. "Father Price and you can call me little birdy I think it's cute." Y/n giving John a closed eyed smile. "Food is ready." Johnny coming out with a hot dish of food, pancakes, hashbrowns, scrambled eggs, and turkey sausage. John served your plate first before anyone else gets their serving first. "Thank you, Father Price, also Johnny these smells delicious I can't wait to dig in." Y/n looking down at her food. After everyone got their food, they all started eating and complement Johnny on his cooking. "I have a question; Simon how did you know which room I was staying at?" Y/n looking at Simon. "Father Price told me. He wanted me to tell you about today's mass, so you won’t get thrown off when you enter the church and see that it's full." Simon looking back at y/n. "Oh okay thank you for telling me. I'm pretty sure Johnny and Kyle knows where my room is at, they own the Tavern Inn." Y/ n looking at Johnny and Kyle. "Right you are bonnie lass." Johnny smiling at y/n.

"Um Johnny, Kyle, would you allow me to use your kitchen tomorrow morning to make breakfast for all of us? Father Price said that all the shops are closed and will reopen Tuesday. So can I use your Kitchen tomorrow morning?" Y/n fidgeting her hands looking at Johnny and Kyle. "Of course you can sweetheart. Same time as today, we can even make that a tradition too." Kyle exclaimed gleefully. "Oh yes every Friday is Brisket Pot Pie, and every Sunday can be the Breakfast Day." Y/n looking at everyone. Since everyone is closed y/n was having trouble thinking about what she should do when she had an idea, "Father Price is it okay if I forage some berries for tomorrow's breakfast? I promise to stay within the village." Y/n looking at John with a pouty face. John who can’t resist, "Yes little birdy you can go forage for berries, but Simon has to go with you." John said looking at y/n and Simon. "Oh, yay thank you thank you thank you Father Price." y/n hugged John. "Here is a basket for your berries." "And a book on what berries you can pick." Johnny handing her a basket and Kyle giving her the book. "Oh, thank you for the book but I don't think I'll need it, my mother and grandmother taught me everything I know about nature and plants, but I'll still keep the book." Y/n said hugging Johnny and Kyle. "Come on Si-Si we have to go before it gets dark. Bye everyone I'll see you tomorrow morning for breakfast." Y/n dragging Simon with her.

Taglist is open comment if you would like to be added

@yourloverslost @tabbslouuformer @angelrissa @freefallingup13 @readingcatinacorner @sylvanasthebansheequeen @casualunknownrunaway @thatpersonnamedrook @rip-cod-brainrot @hoodiepandaninja16 @spacecrawllerr @kopi-nes @darkangel4121

[my-castles-crumbling]

Can you acknowledge me as a trans person? Even if I act and look like a girl and have a hijab? in my religion, It's a sin and, I don't look like anything masculine. I just, want someone to tell me I can still be trans even though I never come out or transition, because, I can't. Even after being away from my parents (I still live with them) I won't come out. I don't think it's worth losing everyone, and I don't think it's worth it because in the end I will just blame myself for ruining everything.

Everyone has sinned at least once, and being a sinner doesn't mean I still don't have that belief. But people say I am either not Muslim (there isn't any force in my religion, no one can decide if you believe or not, but somehow some people still loves to talk for god) or I am not queer because I mostly act upon my beliefs (ofc nothing hateful! I hope you or anyone doesn't get prejudiced about us because of some people who claim to be religious but still judge and hate)

And I am bi. And I feel shitty no matter what. Like in the middle, not accepted in anything. Like if I am one, I can't be the other, and I know I can't, I know I need to choose something, but I can't because I love my religion, it helped me much, I felt happy each time I pray, but I also want to feel comfortable in my skin and,

I need someone to tell me I am worth something, anything, even though I am the way I am.

If that makes sense, I am not American, sorry for shitty sentences.

And now I am crying. I am sorry.

And i would appreciate it if you answer or acknowledge this ask at least, because, I was very nervous and scared to ask this even in anon, because I wear hijab and religious in a sense and I can't help but feel like you would judge or not like me at all, I know you can't hate someone anon because you don't know me, but I still feel so bad because of this, I am sorry. I know I am just someone in Tumblr and nothing that important but, you helped me a lot and I don't want to say anything wrong that could make you feel bad.

You don't have to answer if you don't want to, I am sorry.

Hi!

First, I want you to know that you are absolutely valid <3. Even as you are right now, even if you never choose to do anything differently, you are trans and you are bi, and that's totally okay and perfect. You are always loved and accepted and important here.

Second, I know that I will never fully understand the turmoil you're experiencing. I can't even imagine how difficult it is to feel like you're caught between two worlds- your religion and your queer identity. But I do want to gently remind you that there are Muslim people who are religious who are queer. I don't pretend to know much about the Muslim faith, so I don't know exactly what is taught about sin and queerness, but it might be helpful for you to look online to see if you could find some of those Muslim and queer people to see how they feel about sin, and how they approach it.

Whatever you do though, please know that you are valid just as you are <3

Naming you leaf anon!